Deep conversation.

Dear God,

Today is a very special day.
Today is his birthday.
Today is the first time ever I cried on someone's birthday.
But I don't mind. Just once in my life, I want this day to be remembered 'til my last breath.
Today is the day.
I know he is beside You, I know he's with You.
Please God, whatever it is, whatever he ever asked, wanted and pleaded from You that You had not or did not give to him while he was here.
From the bottom of my heart, I am pleading You to give it to him.
Even if it will take my own life.
I was already dead once. I don't mind to be dead twice.
It is something I cannot help, okay?
I don't know my destiny, but I know I'm destined to love him forevermore.
And to you my beloved, wherever you are now, happy birthday.
Eventhough I have lost all hopes, on you, I'll never lost hope.
I hope you'll get what you've always wanted.
Don't worry 'bout anything. Just take a very good care of yourself.
In our darkest hour, in my deepest despair which I'm carrying now.
In my trials, and my tribulations.
Through my doubts and frustrations.
In my violence, in my turbulence.
Through my fear and my confessions.
In my anguish and my pain.
Through my joy and my sorrow.
In the promise of another tomorrow.
I'll never let you part, for you always in my heart.