Happy Eid Mubarak

Selamat hari raya aidilfitri 1430 Hijrah! Maaf zahir dan batin. Kalau ada terkasar bahasa ke pape, 0-0 la yeh. Tak terlintas pun di hati aku sebenarnya nak buat sesiapa berbulu dengan aku. Kalau ada pun tu sume gurau senda sementara aku masih berada di dunia ni. Yap, for me raya tahun ni memang suram. Duit raya tak banyak! Ahahahaha. Gila kedekut ar korang. benci i. Dah la tak dapat main mercun, sentuh pun tak dapat. Tahun lepas at least dapat la main sikit. Tapi takpelah, at least masa bulan puasa tu dapat main la jugak mercun mancis! Hahaha. Disebabkan jakun gila sebab dah setahun tak usik, terlompat2 jugak la lepas main tu. Haha. Hopefully raya korang best-best belaka tahun ni. Kueh? Ye buat2 tapi utk sendiri makan je, Ngahaha. Teringat masa raya dolu2 time bulan puasa lepas berbuka je aku ngan abang rembat basikal g beli mercun. Tak g jauh2 la, kat rumah pakcik bawah sekolah rendah kami tu je. Senyap2 pegi tak nak abah ngan mak kami tau. Pastu balik rumah pun senyap2. Tapi lepas kebabom sana kebabom sini mereka tau lah kan? haha. Banyak jugak la berhabis duit kat benda tu tapi macam tak kisah je janji puas kan kan? Hahaha. Mendorong kepada perkara yg merugikan ni! Kakaka. Bestnya raya dolu2.. Kalau boleh pusing waktu balik ke masa lalu kan best. Tak payah membesar lagi best! Jadi budak terbantut tumbesaran sepanjang hidup. hahaha. sapa nak? Sep sep! :D

To you,
Maaf sebab tak kasi kad or text message wishing you. Firstly sebab I don't have your address. Secondly, I'm afraid it'd be for nothing for you. We only had the chance to celebrate Eid together a few times before you've forgotten me. But anyways, happy eidul fitr. :)

To you,
I was mengong alone 'cause we didn't chat together like we did last year on hari raya. But it's ok. If we do chat pun, it'd be awkward. Selamat hari lebaran. :)

To you,
I was chatting with you instead! Like we did 2 years ago! It was indeed fun but I still feel something's missing here. Thanks for accompanying me, friend. Selamat hari raya. :)

And to you,
This Eid will never be the same ever again without you. Wishing you from down here, happy eid mubarak. Keep looking down to us.

Silly girl

"Aku pelik bagaimana hati kau yang selembutnya mengasihi dan menyayangi dulu telah kini bertukar menjadi sekeras-keras batu besar tertanam di dalam pasir laut, tidak dapat dialihkan lagi."
Apa nak cerita ek? Kehidupan makin lama makin tiada cerita baru. Balik-balik benda sama. Kalau kau pasti dah lama bosan kan?
Tadi ceritanya, ceritanyalah kan (dah takde cerita) aku buat-buat rajin gi jalankan tugas. Sebenarnya nak minta duit kat Kak Mira untuk keluar esok je, just in case keluar. Konon takde duit ah, tapi dalam-dalam takde duit tu sempat beli shades Giorgio Armani. Haha, murah je kot. Da lama tak beli shades. Pastu lepak-lepak jap, dah bosan me, abang dan our mum keluar cari makanan untuk berbuka (even though aku sorang je tak puasa dalam rumah sekarang) LOL. Alah, tak puasa pun macam puasa je, bukan ada apa pun kat rumah nak makan. Mesti kena tunggu buka sama-sama jugak paling best kan kan kan? Hahaha. Masa lalu kat bazar pertama, ingat nak stop jap sebab abang konon nak tukar tee yg dia beli sebab tak cukup saiz. Sekali mum tak berhenti sebab takde parking. Ha padan muka kau. Masa berhenti isi minyak, aku nampak cikgu bekas sekolah menengah dulu, cikgu laki. Nama dia Nazri. Dia pakai baju Melayu warna hitam. Aku cakap kat abang suruh check out dia, dia la yg confirmkan nama cikgu tu, kalau tak takdenya aku nak ingat. Haha. Tak tegur pun cikgu tu, ye la, kang kalau tegur bukan dia kenal pun kita orang sebab dia tak pernah ajar kita orang pun. Gahaha. Baik buat donno jek. Kang kita orang terpinga-pinga pandang dia, dia terpinga-pinga pandang kita orang, daripada pening ah baik tak yah tegur an. Lalala~ bye cikgu. Then setelah parking kereta berhampiran bazar kedua ter-famous, kami pun mula round-round. Aku pun tak tau nak makan apa, tak tau selera sendiri sebab dah muak dengan makanan dunia. Semua benda dah makan kot sampai tak tahu mahu makan apa lagi. *tetiba kua bahasa baku* Abang kacau aku like gila-gila sampai naik nyampah pulak jalan dengan dia. Mum pulak tanya aku banyak kali nak makan apa and all I could answer is "tak tau tak tau tak tau". Kemudian kami pusing-pusng gi cari air soya. Air soya ialah minuman wajib bagi aku setiap kali bulan Ramadan. Rasanya memang enak sekali, lemak berkrim disukai aku sorang je. Cubalah ye? Eh, tah2 korang dah pernah minum pun, saja la nak promote kot2 tak pernah cuba. Hahaha. Masa cari tu adalah jumpa air soya tapi harga cam cekik darah gila2, sebungkus RM3! Gila kott. Tetengah cari air soya paling berbaloi harganya mata aku terpaku pada sesusuk tubuh yg sangat dikenali! Nubhan!!! Dia lalu bebetul sebelah aku ngan mum! OMG, jakun jap! Terpaku ngan badan2 sekali! Nasib baik tak rubbing shoulders, kalau tak baru tu je pengsan dah kot aku kat tetengah tu! Haha! Jakun bukan apa, dia gila comel + segak + tinggi and very gentleman bawa plastic2 berisi makanan semua, instead mak dia or saudara dia aku tak sure la, pastu ada budak2 kecil ngan dia. Muka dia cool je, sentiasa tersenyum. Sungguh menenangkan~ Aku tak tau orang perasan dia ke tak sebab macam takde pun yg tegur dia? Barangkali mereka segan nak mampos seperti aku! Hahaha! Terperasan pulak! Entah2 dah ramai tegur, aku je cam cacing kurap tengok dia camtu je! Wakakaka! Memang kerugian~ masa dia lalu tu aku cakap kat mum,

"Mum mum, tu nubhan kan kan?"
"Mana? tak nampak pun?"
"Tu lah, tu tu *sambil menuding ke arah nubhan*"
"Ye ke dia tu..ntah2 orang lain?"
"Iyyyeeeeee, adik nampak dia lalu sebelah adik tadi! Jom2 gi beli air soya tadi tu!" *yg RM3 tadi tu. hahhaha, sanggup mak!*

Kitorang pun patah balik konon nak gi beli air soya tuh. Sebelah gerai yg jual air soya tu gerai jual kuih muih tradisional Melayu. Kat situ la Nubhan menemani saudaranya itu membeli-belah. Kelakar gila, dah sampai situ pun aku soksek2 kat my mum pasal dia! Hahaha! Pastu buat2 nak beli air soya. My mum dah kasi chance dah suruh tegur dia! Dah diri bebetul sebelah dia, belakang saudara dia tu! Aku pulak macam, kan dah cakap dah, bongok kalah cacing kurap yg kalau ada otak, otaknya sangat dungu! Hahahaha! Macam2 rasa ada, takut + segan + malu + rendah diri + rasa kecik je diri depan dia yg tinggi tu. Tetiba aku tarik my mum jauh2 dari situ! Hahaha bengap! Pastu abang datang, aku cakap kat dia suruh check out whether dia betul Nubhan, dia gi diri sebelah Nubhan pastu dah pandang dia, pandang makanan semua dia datang balik kat kitorang baru la dia confirmkan memang Nubhan. Last2 bukan tegur pun, aku hanya memandang dia berlalu dgn mimik muka yg masih sama di wajah masing2~ aku blur macam apatah, dia tersenyum penuh cool~ kesimpulannya, syahira hashim hari ni memang ngeng macam p**s**t! Ha amik! Selalu puji2 diri sendiri je kali ni rasakan cacian pula! Eyy, sumpahlah dia cumel! Dah la putih, pakai baju biru ngan jeans! Fuh~ terkesima nyah jap. Masa otw balik dalam kereta sumpah aku rasa menyesal gila. Yg menambahkan penyesalan, aku gi tarik pulak my mum pergi dari situ! Hahaha! Kalau dah sampai camtu sapa tak cakap ngeng an? Aku memang selalu macam tu. Jumpa orang yg tak pernah jumpa apatah lagi yg terkenal, selalu keluar tv, mag, internet, semuanya buat donno. Hilang terus segala perangai tak tau malu yg orang nampak. Padahal belum tentu dapat jumpa lagi kan? Nampak pun bukan buat apa pun, bukan nak ambil gambar gila2, tarik peluk cium dia, ask for his/her number ke apa, tegur je. Tu pun aku takde semangat. Sabar je la labu. Haih. Sapa2 tolong kasi semangat boleh? Anyone? So that was the story for today. Catch ya later.

Sorry.

I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry and say,

But it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat but that's nothing new
I loved you with a fire red now it's turning blue, but you say
"Sorry" like an angel, heaven let me think it was you but now I'm afraid,

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, too late

I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground.

p/s: I 'enjoy' myself everytime I sing it. Whoow! Thanks yo!

Mama Do

Every night I go
Every night I go sneaking out the door
I lie a little more, baby I’m helpless

There's something ‘bout the night
And the way it hides all the things I like
Little black butterflies
Deep inside me

What would my mama do
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If she knew ‘bout me and you?
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
What would my daddy say
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If he saw me hurt this way?
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)

Why should I feel ashamed?
Feeling guilty at the mention of your name
Here we are again
It’s nearly perfect

What would my mama do
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If she knew ‘bout me and you?
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
What would my daddy say
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If he saw me hurt this way?
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)

What would my mama do
(Oh Oh)

What would my daddy say


All the things a girl should know
Are the things she can’t control
All the things a girl should know
she can’t control

What would my mama do
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If she knew 'bout me and you
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
What would my daddy say
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If he saw me hurt this way
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
Uh Oh Uh Oh
Uh Oh Uh Oh
Uh Oh Uh Oh


She sounds a bit like Duffy,
Pixie Lott is photogenic, isn't she?

Al-Fatihah

Anyway, I missed something in my writing this morning. Wow, what a 'quote'? something-writing-morning. LOL. While I was just staring at people around me, kinda doing nothing, I received this one text message from an unknown number. 01688***** and I was like, number Sarawak ni. I thought it was someone who's reaching a wrong person. I opened the text message and it says,

Eira..fizz nie.mak i passed away last two weeks.

And I was like.. speechless. Ok honey, I know how you currently feel. I'll admit that I dropped some tears because she's feeling what I currently feel. Something 'good' we have in common now huh? Wicked, I know. Then out of my realization I began to sing She's Out of My Life. Wtf? Oh God.. Enough of the sadness, please. And we had a short conversation. Was indeed short but sweet though, 'cause we talked about how much fun we had in our old life. Something back in 2006 and all. When I think back, yeah, it is sweet both as in imagination and being real in the past. We were so close during fasting month. I missed those memories. It'll be one of the most memorable memories I'll never forget. And darling, be strong ok. I'll always be with you and I hope we can grow more stronger. I remember he said, there's nothing that can't be done if we raise out voice/hand as one. Together, let us recite some prayers for Fizz's mum. May she finally rest in peace. Al-Fatihah.

Something bigger

1) Beside ur lips, where is the favourite spot to get kissed?
= For my own sake, I don't like being kissed! Flying kiss pun tamau! Hahaha! but I like kissing people. how's that? bhahaha. But if somebody's totally desperate to kiss me, just leave a kiss on my forehead. That IS sweeter right? *grinned*

2)How did u feel when u woke up this morning?
= I did not sleep.

3) Who was the last person/people you took photo with?
= Aiman shahiranananan. :P

4) Would you consider urself spoiled?
= Haaa very much indeed. :D

5) Have u ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
= Yup.

6) Do you want someone to be dead?
= I've had enough with the dead. I don't want anymore dead people.

7) What does your last text message say?
= Check alkashah ada hutang buku tak.

8) What are you thinking right now?
= Nothing.

9) Do you want someone to be with you right now?
= Very much indeed.

10) What was the time you went to bed last night?
= Told ya! 2315.

11) Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
= A gift from my sister.

12) Is someone on your mind right now?
= I think about his/her most of the time, and that means it's a yes.

13) Who was the last person who texted you?
= My sister.

14) TEN lucky person

do it.do it.do it :D :

1. Only God knows who
2. Johnny Depp
3. Zac Efron
4. Catherine Zeta-Jones
5. Angelina Jolie
6. Miley Cyrus
7. LMP
8. Scarlett Johansson
9. Allison Iraheta
10. YOU, whoever is reading right now. :)

1) Who is no. 2 ? Having a relationship with?
= A very hunky-talented-actor. Damit, don't you know him? ohhh awwww auuwwww, how I wish he is having relationship with me! Bhahahaha! Her wife is Vanessa Paradis.

2) Is no. 3 a male or a female?
= Male.

3) If no. 7 and no.1 get together, would it be a good?
= OMG.. I did not expect this. Coincidentally, they had a serious relationship long time ago. But then they ended up being good friends.

4) What is no.1 studying about?
= He studied about life and how it treated him.

5) When was the last time you chatted with them?
= Haha. Me them, chatting? You must be joking. Who knows, maybe I chat with number 10 everyday. :P

6) Is no. 4 single?
= Absolutely nope.

7) Say something about no. 6
= She's fun to be with, can act, can sing, sweet & has a very sporting daddy!

8) What do you think about no. 3 & no.5 being together?
= aha, aha, ahahahahahaha. What's with Zac being together with Angie?? Firstly, they don't suit each other at all. Baby V might dump Zac or working on a revenge but Brad's gonna kill Zac for that. And I'm not gonna let my honey die for nothing!!!

9) Describe no.9
= She's my gay crush, Adam Lambert's best friend.

10) Do you like no. 8?
= Very much indeed! She's got everything.

11) How about no. 10?
= Whoever reading this, yes don't worry. I like anyone of you. :)

Youuuuuuuuuuu (sapa-sapa je lah) hati I *dup dap dup dap macam motobot la* tak henti-henti tengok gambar niiiii. His reddish lips, auuwwww! He IS my vanilla ice. I'll tell, it really takes my whole strength everytime I take a look at him. Damitt, ok I'm weak, I'll admit. Damit, don't laugh.

Morningmusume

I'm currently working on some private videos. Doakan saya berjaya yea! Hahaha. Cakap macam susah je, tapi memang macam tutt gila bila dalam process dia buat hal. Actually dah siap but hasilnya tak memuaskan. Kena all and out balik semula. Mami! tolong i! haha. Semalam buat fetama kalinya setelah berapa lama tak dapat tidur yg nyenyak dan enak akhirnya aku dapat juga tidur awal sikit! Alhamdulillah. Haha. Ceritanya begini. Semalam lepas sahur aku tak tidur. Bajet konon nak online la kejap. Kejap kejap hamik kau, 6 jam online. Biasa la aku selalu online tak sedar alam sekeliling! Berada dalam dunia sendiri je! Haha. Pastu dah terasa ala-ala ngantuk dan hampir nak sorongkan bantal, tiba-tiba dapat message dari Kak Mira petang ni macam biasa. Sumpah kalau dia tak ingatkan aku memang terlupa. Honestly, kali terakhir aku keluar rumah ialah pada 25/8 yg lalu, kalau tak salah la. So, aku memang tak tau apa jadi kat luar rumah, for example new students ke, studio nak roboh ke, kucing nenek rumah sebelah hilang ke apa-apa la. They miss me? Perhaps they don't. Haha. If yes pun it's not like I care. But I've already promised someone to help her post kad raya and the next thing I knew, aku tak keluar rumah pastu. Hahaha. Kesempatan yg ada semalam telah aku gunakan untuk meminta maaf daripadanya! Sorry akak! Ok sambung balik. Dengan langkah separuh longlai aku mengerah sekuat tenaga bersiap-siap untuk ke CP. Pukul 4 petang, my mum and I pun bertolak menghantar aku. Pstt! Buat pertama kalinya aku bebtol pakai mask kat luar! Haha! Sekarang baru aku paham perasaan orang yg memakai benda alah tu. Pelik sangat ke rupa sampai semua orang jakun nak pandang? Rilek-rilek la weh. Musim kot sekarang. Kelas start pukul 5.15. Ada 1 jam lagi. Pegi kedai kat lif tu jap beli mag. Nampak Galaxie je terus sambar! Serious aku macam nak nangis bila pikir balik last issue tak sempat beli. Cover depan the hunky-dories from Gossip Girl okaaayy! I like both Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford but it seems everyone's into Chuck and not Nate. Wtfkk. Hahaha. Aku dengki sudah. Yeah guys, I'm into CC & Nate Archibald. Don't bother. TK my cousin, she likes Chuck. I don't really know if she likes Ed as well. But she likes CC as CC. Like she said, hot stuff, sapa tak minat wey. HAHA, yup girl gimme ten! But I'm totally taknak kalah dengan dia! Go Nate! HAHAHA. Beside them, ada interview dengan JoBros! Grr! Oh ohh btw, Kevin nak naik pelamin! Congrats congrats. Now you're officially off the market. Bhahaha. Kelas habis pukul 7 kott. Tu pun suara abah yg kejutkan sebab aku tertidur kat meja (kepala kat meja okay). Kami keluar pukul 7.10 and normally it'll take 10 minutes to reach home. Macam lipas kudung la kemas-kemas apa yg patut pastu drive balik. Ngan jalan jam nenas lagi, ngan berbukanya pukul 7.17 semua. Haish, aku tak pikir sempat sampai rumah tapi sampai juga before time. Alhamdulillah. Abah agak bising juga sebab dia tak suka kelas sampai pukul 7, sebab nanti balik tak sempat solat Asar. Entahlah aku pun tak tau jalan penyelesaiannya kepada semua masalah yg dihadapi. Bersabar sudah. Lepas buka, semua buat hal memasing. Aku masuk bilik buat apa yg patut, pastu lepak dengan Hasya and the gang. It was fun though, 'cause we didn't fight. *grinned* Pukul 10 bukak tv, cerita Batman Forever, damn Nicole Kidman gila lawa. Minggu lepas pun Batman, minggu ni Batman lagi, semua series ke dia nak tayang? Minggu depan kalau tak Batman & Robin, mesti Batman Return. I'll admit Batman is my favorite superhero but.. AKU DAH MUAK LA WEYYY. Tah berapa puluh kali tengok dah. Hasya pulak banyak tanya like gila-gila pasal cerita tu, like 'dia ni macam ni kan maksu, lepas ni dia ni kan, bla3' and I was like, hasya. Maksu dah tengok cerita ni sejak korang belum lahir lagi, dah muak dah, tiap-tiap Christmas dulu semua channel rebut-rebut nak tayang movie Batman. Tak payah tanya lagi, ok? Terus dia terdiam. Good girl. Baru sejam cerita tu, mata aku dah terkuncup-kuncup tahan ngantuk, aku pun terlelap. Tersedar bila mak aku ambik remote tukar channel. Mula-mula cam nak protes je, tapi mengenangkan mata dah macam kena hempap gajah bunting aku pun berlalu ngan longlai naik atas. Pukul 11 kot tidur! Geeez, aku sendiri tak caya. Geram. Geram sebab mood nak tengok tv dah dikacau rasa ngantuk yg keterlaluan. Geram sebab tak dapat online. Geram sebab tak dapat tahan rasa ngantuk. In the end, aku bersyukur sebenarnya sebab dia bagi aku rasa betul-betul nak tidur. Rasa yg dah lama hilang sebelum ni. Consequence-nya juga aku tak sempat nak memikirkan masalah aku. Yeap, that's what I want. I know I cannot run and hide from it but at least I don't think about it that much. Although my heart is aching again this morning when I see you. Get busy, it's the perfect remedy. At least for the time being. Woaargghhh ngantuknyaaaaa!! Apa aku merepek pagi-pagi buta ni? Haha. Buta ke? Oh, yg ngantuk tahap gaban tu sebab tidur malam tu 1 jam je! pastu kena bangun sahur. Haha! Mana tak ngantuk! Actually, I don't have much to tell. Last but not least, thank you God. :)

Dust in the eyes

First of all, I just want to say, I love this song because I'm really into the melody. FYI, the video, the drama and the casts have no connection at all to the song.


It was pretty shocking to know that it actually got loads of snogging-passionately-scenes to see. Just look at 3.17, the guy apparently stared at her boob before agreed to make love. Demit, bulan puasa kot. HAHA.

Move along bebeh!

Dangg, this is just awesome. I wish I have those legs, those moves, those spirits. Ah, I'm too tired. Save the last dance for me baby.

I love you, friend.

Snoopy, on your birthday honey, I just don't know the right things to say, but this is my speech. I'm so sorry for all my wrongdoings and the pain I caused. I'm sorry if I hurt you without my knowing. I never meant to abuse you, to abandon you, to neglect you. It has never crossed my mind at all to do things that maybe caused you to dislike or hate me, or bash me, or put a gun to my head, shoot me.. Okay, I exaggerate. I love you like what I feel for everyone else. I'd do anything to see you happy. Just tell me what it is, I'll do it if I could. See, how could I do something that is totally unacceptable? I just don't know how to say it to you, how much you mean to me. I don't know how to show my love. When I'm with you, I'm clueless, at times I don't talk that much 'cause I just don't know what else to say. I don't know how to please you. I don't know what you want. The biggest thing is, I don't know what do you feel about me. Okay, if you say why I didn't ask? I'm sorry 'cause I'm-I'm gutless. I'm not like your other friends who can simply move forward. It takes time. And if it is something you cannot wait, well all I can say is my apologies. May you'll get what you've always wanted. I'll pray to God to bless you, to give you anything you want, anything that can make you happy. Happy sweet 19th birthday, pal. Hope you had a good 18-years-old life and it'll get better. I'm sorry I can't say this right to your face. Yeah, I'm gutless.

TOC

I'm bored. Hell bored bored bored. Tired of circumstances. Aaaaarrggghhhhh!