Passing by

to say hello. Serious aku busy.
Bye.

Happy Eid Mubarak

Selamat hari raya aidilfitri 1430 Hijrah! Maaf zahir dan batin. Kalau ada terkasar bahasa ke pape, 0-0 la yeh. Tak terlintas pun di hati aku sebenarnya nak buat sesiapa berbulu dengan aku. Kalau ada pun tu sume gurau senda sementara aku masih berada di dunia ni. Yap, for me raya tahun ni memang suram. Duit raya tak banyak! Ahahahaha. Gila kedekut ar korang. benci i. Dah la tak dapat main mercun, sentuh pun tak dapat. Tahun lepas at least dapat la main sikit. Tapi takpelah, at least masa bulan puasa tu dapat main la jugak mercun mancis! Hahaha. Disebabkan jakun gila sebab dah setahun tak usik, terlompat2 jugak la lepas main tu. Haha. Hopefully raya korang best-best belaka tahun ni. Kueh? Ye buat2 tapi utk sendiri makan je, Ngahaha. Teringat masa raya dolu2 time bulan puasa lepas berbuka je aku ngan abang rembat basikal g beli mercun. Tak g jauh2 la, kat rumah pakcik bawah sekolah rendah kami tu je. Senyap2 pegi tak nak abah ngan mak kami tau. Pastu balik rumah pun senyap2. Tapi lepas kebabom sana kebabom sini mereka tau lah kan? haha. Banyak jugak la berhabis duit kat benda tu tapi macam tak kisah je janji puas kan kan? Hahaha. Mendorong kepada perkara yg merugikan ni! Kakaka. Bestnya raya dolu2.. Kalau boleh pusing waktu balik ke masa lalu kan best. Tak payah membesar lagi best! Jadi budak terbantut tumbesaran sepanjang hidup. hahaha. sapa nak? Sep sep! :D

To you,
Maaf sebab tak kasi kad or text message wishing you. Firstly sebab I don't have your address. Secondly, I'm afraid it'd be for nothing for you. We only had the chance to celebrate Eid together a few times before you've forgotten me. But anyways, happy eidul fitr. :)

To you,
I was mengong alone 'cause we didn't chat together like we did last year on hari raya. But it's ok. If we do chat pun, it'd be awkward. Selamat hari lebaran. :)

To you,
I was chatting with you instead! Like we did 2 years ago! It was indeed fun but I still feel something's missing here. Thanks for accompanying me, friend. Selamat hari raya. :)

And to you,
This Eid will never be the same ever again without you. Wishing you from down here, happy eid mubarak. Keep looking down to us.

Silly girl

"Aku pelik bagaimana hati kau yang selembutnya mengasihi dan menyayangi dulu telah kini bertukar menjadi sekeras-keras batu besar tertanam di dalam pasir laut, tidak dapat dialihkan lagi."
Apa nak cerita ek? Kehidupan makin lama makin tiada cerita baru. Balik-balik benda sama. Kalau kau pasti dah lama bosan kan?
Tadi ceritanya, ceritanyalah kan (dah takde cerita) aku buat-buat rajin gi jalankan tugas. Sebenarnya nak minta duit kat Kak Mira untuk keluar esok je, just in case keluar. Konon takde duit ah, tapi dalam-dalam takde duit tu sempat beli shades Giorgio Armani. Haha, murah je kot. Da lama tak beli shades. Pastu lepak-lepak jap, dah bosan me, abang dan our mum keluar cari makanan untuk berbuka (even though aku sorang je tak puasa dalam rumah sekarang) LOL. Alah, tak puasa pun macam puasa je, bukan ada apa pun kat rumah nak makan. Mesti kena tunggu buka sama-sama jugak paling best kan kan kan? Hahaha. Masa lalu kat bazar pertama, ingat nak stop jap sebab abang konon nak tukar tee yg dia beli sebab tak cukup saiz. Sekali mum tak berhenti sebab takde parking. Ha padan muka kau. Masa berhenti isi minyak, aku nampak cikgu bekas sekolah menengah dulu, cikgu laki. Nama dia Nazri. Dia pakai baju Melayu warna hitam. Aku cakap kat abang suruh check out dia, dia la yg confirmkan nama cikgu tu, kalau tak takdenya aku nak ingat. Haha. Tak tegur pun cikgu tu, ye la, kang kalau tegur bukan dia kenal pun kita orang sebab dia tak pernah ajar kita orang pun. Gahaha. Baik buat donno jek. Kang kita orang terpinga-pinga pandang dia, dia terpinga-pinga pandang kita orang, daripada pening ah baik tak yah tegur an. Lalala~ bye cikgu. Then setelah parking kereta berhampiran bazar kedua ter-famous, kami pun mula round-round. Aku pun tak tau nak makan apa, tak tau selera sendiri sebab dah muak dengan makanan dunia. Semua benda dah makan kot sampai tak tahu mahu makan apa lagi. *tetiba kua bahasa baku* Abang kacau aku like gila-gila sampai naik nyampah pulak jalan dengan dia. Mum pulak tanya aku banyak kali nak makan apa and all I could answer is "tak tau tak tau tak tau". Kemudian kami pusing-pusng gi cari air soya. Air soya ialah minuman wajib bagi aku setiap kali bulan Ramadan. Rasanya memang enak sekali, lemak berkrim disukai aku sorang je. Cubalah ye? Eh, tah2 korang dah pernah minum pun, saja la nak promote kot2 tak pernah cuba. Hahaha. Masa cari tu adalah jumpa air soya tapi harga cam cekik darah gila2, sebungkus RM3! Gila kott. Tetengah cari air soya paling berbaloi harganya mata aku terpaku pada sesusuk tubuh yg sangat dikenali! Nubhan!!! Dia lalu bebetul sebelah aku ngan mum! OMG, jakun jap! Terpaku ngan badan2 sekali! Nasib baik tak rubbing shoulders, kalau tak baru tu je pengsan dah kot aku kat tetengah tu! Haha! Jakun bukan apa, dia gila comel + segak + tinggi and very gentleman bawa plastic2 berisi makanan semua, instead mak dia or saudara dia aku tak sure la, pastu ada budak2 kecil ngan dia. Muka dia cool je, sentiasa tersenyum. Sungguh menenangkan~ Aku tak tau orang perasan dia ke tak sebab macam takde pun yg tegur dia? Barangkali mereka segan nak mampos seperti aku! Hahaha! Terperasan pulak! Entah2 dah ramai tegur, aku je cam cacing kurap tengok dia camtu je! Wakakaka! Memang kerugian~ masa dia lalu tu aku cakap kat mum,

"Mum mum, tu nubhan kan kan?"
"Mana? tak nampak pun?"
"Tu lah, tu tu *sambil menuding ke arah nubhan*"
"Ye ke dia tu..ntah2 orang lain?"
"Iyyyeeeeee, adik nampak dia lalu sebelah adik tadi! Jom2 gi beli air soya tadi tu!" *yg RM3 tadi tu. hahhaha, sanggup mak!*

Kitorang pun patah balik konon nak gi beli air soya tuh. Sebelah gerai yg jual air soya tu gerai jual kuih muih tradisional Melayu. Kat situ la Nubhan menemani saudaranya itu membeli-belah. Kelakar gila, dah sampai situ pun aku soksek2 kat my mum pasal dia! Hahaha! Pastu buat2 nak beli air soya. My mum dah kasi chance dah suruh tegur dia! Dah diri bebetul sebelah dia, belakang saudara dia tu! Aku pulak macam, kan dah cakap dah, bongok kalah cacing kurap yg kalau ada otak, otaknya sangat dungu! Hahahaha! Macam2 rasa ada, takut + segan + malu + rendah diri + rasa kecik je diri depan dia yg tinggi tu. Tetiba aku tarik my mum jauh2 dari situ! Hahaha bengap! Pastu abang datang, aku cakap kat dia suruh check out whether dia betul Nubhan, dia gi diri sebelah Nubhan pastu dah pandang dia, pandang makanan semua dia datang balik kat kitorang baru la dia confirmkan memang Nubhan. Last2 bukan tegur pun, aku hanya memandang dia berlalu dgn mimik muka yg masih sama di wajah masing2~ aku blur macam apatah, dia tersenyum penuh cool~ kesimpulannya, syahira hashim hari ni memang ngeng macam p**s**t! Ha amik! Selalu puji2 diri sendiri je kali ni rasakan cacian pula! Eyy, sumpahlah dia cumel! Dah la putih, pakai baju biru ngan jeans! Fuh~ terkesima nyah jap. Masa otw balik dalam kereta sumpah aku rasa menyesal gila. Yg menambahkan penyesalan, aku gi tarik pulak my mum pergi dari situ! Hahaha! Kalau dah sampai camtu sapa tak cakap ngeng an? Aku memang selalu macam tu. Jumpa orang yg tak pernah jumpa apatah lagi yg terkenal, selalu keluar tv, mag, internet, semuanya buat donno. Hilang terus segala perangai tak tau malu yg orang nampak. Padahal belum tentu dapat jumpa lagi kan? Nampak pun bukan buat apa pun, bukan nak ambil gambar gila2, tarik peluk cium dia, ask for his/her number ke apa, tegur je. Tu pun aku takde semangat. Sabar je la labu. Haih. Sapa2 tolong kasi semangat boleh? Anyone? So that was the story for today. Catch ya later.

Sorry.

I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry and say,

But it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat but that's nothing new
I loved you with a fire red now it's turning blue, but you say
"Sorry" like an angel, heaven let me think it was you but now I'm afraid,

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, too late

I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground.

p/s: I 'enjoy' myself everytime I sing it. Whoow! Thanks yo!

Mama Do

Every night I go
Every night I go sneaking out the door
I lie a little more, baby I’m helpless

There's something ‘bout the night
And the way it hides all the things I like
Little black butterflies
Deep inside me

What would my mama do
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If she knew ‘bout me and you?
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
What would my daddy say
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If he saw me hurt this way?
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)

Why should I feel ashamed?
Feeling guilty at the mention of your name
Here we are again
It’s nearly perfect

What would my mama do
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If she knew ‘bout me and you?
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
What would my daddy say
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If he saw me hurt this way?
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)

What would my mama do
(Oh Oh)

What would my daddy say


All the things a girl should know
Are the things she can’t control
All the things a girl should know
she can’t control

What would my mama do
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If she knew 'bout me and you
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
What would my daddy say
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
If he saw me hurt this way
(Uh Oh Uh Oh)
Uh Oh Uh Oh
Uh Oh Uh Oh
Uh Oh Uh Oh


She sounds a bit like Duffy,
Pixie Lott is photogenic, isn't she?

Al-Fatihah

Anyway, I missed something in my writing this morning. Wow, what a 'quote'? something-writing-morning. LOL. While I was just staring at people around me, kinda doing nothing, I received this one text message from an unknown number. 01688***** and I was like, number Sarawak ni. I thought it was someone who's reaching a wrong person. I opened the text message and it says,

Eira..fizz nie.mak i passed away last two weeks.

And I was like.. speechless. Ok honey, I know how you currently feel. I'll admit that I dropped some tears because she's feeling what I currently feel. Something 'good' we have in common now huh? Wicked, I know. Then out of my realization I began to sing She's Out of My Life. Wtf? Oh God.. Enough of the sadness, please. And we had a short conversation. Was indeed short but sweet though, 'cause we talked about how much fun we had in our old life. Something back in 2006 and all. When I think back, yeah, it is sweet both as in imagination and being real in the past. We were so close during fasting month. I missed those memories. It'll be one of the most memorable memories I'll never forget. And darling, be strong ok. I'll always be with you and I hope we can grow more stronger. I remember he said, there's nothing that can't be done if we raise out voice/hand as one. Together, let us recite some prayers for Fizz's mum. May she finally rest in peace. Al-Fatihah.

Something bigger

1) Beside ur lips, where is the favourite spot to get kissed?
= For my own sake, I don't like being kissed! Flying kiss pun tamau! Hahaha! but I like kissing people. how's that? bhahaha. But if somebody's totally desperate to kiss me, just leave a kiss on my forehead. That IS sweeter right? *grinned*

2)How did u feel when u woke up this morning?
= I did not sleep.

3) Who was the last person/people you took photo with?
= Aiman shahiranananan. :P

4) Would you consider urself spoiled?
= Haaa very much indeed. :D

5) Have u ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
= Yup.

6) Do you want someone to be dead?
= I've had enough with the dead. I don't want anymore dead people.

7) What does your last text message say?
= Check alkashah ada hutang buku tak.

8) What are you thinking right now?
= Nothing.

9) Do you want someone to be with you right now?
= Very much indeed.

10) What was the time you went to bed last night?
= Told ya! 2315.

11) Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
= A gift from my sister.

12) Is someone on your mind right now?
= I think about his/her most of the time, and that means it's a yes.

13) Who was the last person who texted you?
= My sister.

14) TEN lucky person

do it.do it.do it :D :

1. Only God knows who
2. Johnny Depp
3. Zac Efron
4. Catherine Zeta-Jones
5. Angelina Jolie
6. Miley Cyrus
7. LMP
8. Scarlett Johansson
9. Allison Iraheta
10. YOU, whoever is reading right now. :)

1) Who is no. 2 ? Having a relationship with?
= A very hunky-talented-actor. Damit, don't you know him? ohhh awwww auuwwww, how I wish he is having relationship with me! Bhahahaha! Her wife is Vanessa Paradis.

2) Is no. 3 a male or a female?
= Male.

3) If no. 7 and no.1 get together, would it be a good?
= OMG.. I did not expect this. Coincidentally, they had a serious relationship long time ago. But then they ended up being good friends.

4) What is no.1 studying about?
= He studied about life and how it treated him.

5) When was the last time you chatted with them?
= Haha. Me them, chatting? You must be joking. Who knows, maybe I chat with number 10 everyday. :P

6) Is no. 4 single?
= Absolutely nope.

7) Say something about no. 6
= She's fun to be with, can act, can sing, sweet & has a very sporting daddy!

8) What do you think about no. 3 & no.5 being together?
= aha, aha, ahahahahahaha. What's with Zac being together with Angie?? Firstly, they don't suit each other at all. Baby V might dump Zac or working on a revenge but Brad's gonna kill Zac for that. And I'm not gonna let my honey die for nothing!!!

9) Describe no.9
= She's my gay crush, Adam Lambert's best friend.

10) Do you like no. 8?
= Very much indeed! She's got everything.

11) How about no. 10?
= Whoever reading this, yes don't worry. I like anyone of you. :)

Youuuuuuuuuuu (sapa-sapa je lah) hati I *dup dap dup dap macam motobot la* tak henti-henti tengok gambar niiiii. His reddish lips, auuwwww! He IS my vanilla ice. I'll tell, it really takes my whole strength everytime I take a look at him. Damitt, ok I'm weak, I'll admit. Damit, don't laugh.

Morningmusume

I'm currently working on some private videos. Doakan saya berjaya yea! Hahaha. Cakap macam susah je, tapi memang macam tutt gila bila dalam process dia buat hal. Actually dah siap but hasilnya tak memuaskan. Kena all and out balik semula. Mami! tolong i! haha. Semalam buat fetama kalinya setelah berapa lama tak dapat tidur yg nyenyak dan enak akhirnya aku dapat juga tidur awal sikit! Alhamdulillah. Haha. Ceritanya begini. Semalam lepas sahur aku tak tidur. Bajet konon nak online la kejap. Kejap kejap hamik kau, 6 jam online. Biasa la aku selalu online tak sedar alam sekeliling! Berada dalam dunia sendiri je! Haha. Pastu dah terasa ala-ala ngantuk dan hampir nak sorongkan bantal, tiba-tiba dapat message dari Kak Mira petang ni macam biasa. Sumpah kalau dia tak ingatkan aku memang terlupa. Honestly, kali terakhir aku keluar rumah ialah pada 25/8 yg lalu, kalau tak salah la. So, aku memang tak tau apa jadi kat luar rumah, for example new students ke, studio nak roboh ke, kucing nenek rumah sebelah hilang ke apa-apa la. They miss me? Perhaps they don't. Haha. If yes pun it's not like I care. But I've already promised someone to help her post kad raya and the next thing I knew, aku tak keluar rumah pastu. Hahaha. Kesempatan yg ada semalam telah aku gunakan untuk meminta maaf daripadanya! Sorry akak! Ok sambung balik. Dengan langkah separuh longlai aku mengerah sekuat tenaga bersiap-siap untuk ke CP. Pukul 4 petang, my mum and I pun bertolak menghantar aku. Pstt! Buat pertama kalinya aku bebtol pakai mask kat luar! Haha! Sekarang baru aku paham perasaan orang yg memakai benda alah tu. Pelik sangat ke rupa sampai semua orang jakun nak pandang? Rilek-rilek la weh. Musim kot sekarang. Kelas start pukul 5.15. Ada 1 jam lagi. Pegi kedai kat lif tu jap beli mag. Nampak Galaxie je terus sambar! Serious aku macam nak nangis bila pikir balik last issue tak sempat beli. Cover depan the hunky-dories from Gossip Girl okaaayy! I like both Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford but it seems everyone's into Chuck and not Nate. Wtfkk. Hahaha. Aku dengki sudah. Yeah guys, I'm into CC & Nate Archibald. Don't bother. TK my cousin, she likes Chuck. I don't really know if she likes Ed as well. But she likes CC as CC. Like she said, hot stuff, sapa tak minat wey. HAHA, yup girl gimme ten! But I'm totally taknak kalah dengan dia! Go Nate! HAHAHA. Beside them, ada interview dengan JoBros! Grr! Oh ohh btw, Kevin nak naik pelamin! Congrats congrats. Now you're officially off the market. Bhahaha. Kelas habis pukul 7 kott. Tu pun suara abah yg kejutkan sebab aku tertidur kat meja (kepala kat meja okay). Kami keluar pukul 7.10 and normally it'll take 10 minutes to reach home. Macam lipas kudung la kemas-kemas apa yg patut pastu drive balik. Ngan jalan jam nenas lagi, ngan berbukanya pukul 7.17 semua. Haish, aku tak pikir sempat sampai rumah tapi sampai juga before time. Alhamdulillah. Abah agak bising juga sebab dia tak suka kelas sampai pukul 7, sebab nanti balik tak sempat solat Asar. Entahlah aku pun tak tau jalan penyelesaiannya kepada semua masalah yg dihadapi. Bersabar sudah. Lepas buka, semua buat hal memasing. Aku masuk bilik buat apa yg patut, pastu lepak dengan Hasya and the gang. It was fun though, 'cause we didn't fight. *grinned* Pukul 10 bukak tv, cerita Batman Forever, damn Nicole Kidman gila lawa. Minggu lepas pun Batman, minggu ni Batman lagi, semua series ke dia nak tayang? Minggu depan kalau tak Batman & Robin, mesti Batman Return. I'll admit Batman is my favorite superhero but.. AKU DAH MUAK LA WEYYY. Tah berapa puluh kali tengok dah. Hasya pulak banyak tanya like gila-gila pasal cerita tu, like 'dia ni macam ni kan maksu, lepas ni dia ni kan, bla3' and I was like, hasya. Maksu dah tengok cerita ni sejak korang belum lahir lagi, dah muak dah, tiap-tiap Christmas dulu semua channel rebut-rebut nak tayang movie Batman. Tak payah tanya lagi, ok? Terus dia terdiam. Good girl. Baru sejam cerita tu, mata aku dah terkuncup-kuncup tahan ngantuk, aku pun terlelap. Tersedar bila mak aku ambik remote tukar channel. Mula-mula cam nak protes je, tapi mengenangkan mata dah macam kena hempap gajah bunting aku pun berlalu ngan longlai naik atas. Pukul 11 kot tidur! Geeez, aku sendiri tak caya. Geram. Geram sebab mood nak tengok tv dah dikacau rasa ngantuk yg keterlaluan. Geram sebab tak dapat online. Geram sebab tak dapat tahan rasa ngantuk. In the end, aku bersyukur sebenarnya sebab dia bagi aku rasa betul-betul nak tidur. Rasa yg dah lama hilang sebelum ni. Consequence-nya juga aku tak sempat nak memikirkan masalah aku. Yeap, that's what I want. I know I cannot run and hide from it but at least I don't think about it that much. Although my heart is aching again this morning when I see you. Get busy, it's the perfect remedy. At least for the time being. Woaargghhh ngantuknyaaaaa!! Apa aku merepek pagi-pagi buta ni? Haha. Buta ke? Oh, yg ngantuk tahap gaban tu sebab tidur malam tu 1 jam je! pastu kena bangun sahur. Haha! Mana tak ngantuk! Actually, I don't have much to tell. Last but not least, thank you God. :)

Dust in the eyes

First of all, I just want to say, I love this song because I'm really into the melody. FYI, the video, the drama and the casts have no connection at all to the song.


It was pretty shocking to know that it actually got loads of snogging-passionately-scenes to see. Just look at 3.17, the guy apparently stared at her boob before agreed to make love. Demit, bulan puasa kot. HAHA.

Move along bebeh!

Dangg, this is just awesome. I wish I have those legs, those moves, those spirits. Ah, I'm too tired. Save the last dance for me baby.

I love you, friend.

Snoopy, on your birthday honey, I just don't know the right things to say, but this is my speech. I'm so sorry for all my wrongdoings and the pain I caused. I'm sorry if I hurt you without my knowing. I never meant to abuse you, to abandon you, to neglect you. It has never crossed my mind at all to do things that maybe caused you to dislike or hate me, or bash me, or put a gun to my head, shoot me.. Okay, I exaggerate. I love you like what I feel for everyone else. I'd do anything to see you happy. Just tell me what it is, I'll do it if I could. See, how could I do something that is totally unacceptable? I just don't know how to say it to you, how much you mean to me. I don't know how to show my love. When I'm with you, I'm clueless, at times I don't talk that much 'cause I just don't know what else to say. I don't know how to please you. I don't know what you want. The biggest thing is, I don't know what do you feel about me. Okay, if you say why I didn't ask? I'm sorry 'cause I'm-I'm gutless. I'm not like your other friends who can simply move forward. It takes time. And if it is something you cannot wait, well all I can say is my apologies. May you'll get what you've always wanted. I'll pray to God to bless you, to give you anything you want, anything that can make you happy. Happy sweet 19th birthday, pal. Hope you had a good 18-years-old life and it'll get better. I'm sorry I can't say this right to your face. Yeah, I'm gutless.

TOC

I'm bored. Hell bored bored bored. Tired of circumstances. Aaaaarrggghhhhh!

Never Say Never - The Fray

There's some things we don't talk about, rather do without and just hold the smile, falling in and out of love, ashamed and proud of, together all the while.

You can never say never, why we don't know when time and time again, younger now than we were before. Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go.

Picture, you're the queen of everything, as far as the eye can see under your command, I will be your guardian when all is crumbling, I'll steady your hand.

We're pulling apart and coming together again and again, we're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again.

Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson

Remember all the things we wanted, now all our memories they're haunted, we were always meant to say goodbye. Even with our fists held high, it never would've worked out right, we were never meant for do or die. I didn't want us to burn out, I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road, someone's gotta go, and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better, but I want you to move on, so I'm already gone.

Looking at you makes it harder, but I know that you'll find another, that doesn't always make you want to cry. Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in, perfect couldn't keep this love alive. You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go.

I'm already gone, already gone, you can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong, I'm already gone, already gone, there's no moving on so I'm already gone.

Already gone, already gone, already gone, already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah, lalala

Deep conversation.

Dear God,

Today is a very special day.
Today is his birthday.
Today is the first time ever I cried on someone's birthday.
But I don't mind. Just once in my life, I want this day to be remembered 'til my last breath.
Today is the day.
I know he is beside You, I know he's with You.
Please God, whatever it is, whatever he ever asked, wanted and pleaded from You that You had not or did not give to him while he was here.
From the bottom of my heart, I am pleading You to give it to him.
Even if it will take my own life.
I was already dead once. I don't mind to be dead twice.
It is something I cannot help, okay?
I don't know my destiny, but I know I'm destined to love him forevermore.
And to you my beloved, wherever you are now, happy birthday.
Eventhough I have lost all hopes, on you, I'll never lost hope.
I hope you'll get what you've always wanted.
Don't worry 'bout anything. Just take a very good care of yourself.
In our darkest hour, in my deepest despair which I'm carrying now.
In my trials, and my tribulations.
Through my doubts and frustrations.
In my violence, in my turbulence.
Through my fear and my confessions.
In my anguish and my pain.
Through my joy and my sorrow.
In the promise of another tomorrow.
I'll never let you part, for you always in my heart.

Funny or just... Disturbing?

Before I begin, I have to say my apologies to all Jonas Brothers fans. I will admit that I like some of their songs. And I know you're doing this for the fans, Joe, but dancing in tight pants and high heels only makes me question your sexuality.


I'm not saying that he's gay or anything, but there you go. I'll let you be the judge.

love struck!

I'm craving for you and just like a fool
There's no one that can top top top your smile!

Can you?

Take me where I've never been, help me on my feet again, show me that good things come to those who wait. Tell me I'm not on my own, tell me I won't be alone, tell me what I'm feeling isn't some mistake. 'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can. Save me from myself, you can. And it's you and no one else. If I could wish upon tomorrow, tonight would never end. If you asked me I would follow, but for now I'll just pretend. Baby, when you look at me, tell me what do you see. Are these the eyes of someone you could love? 'Cause everything that brought me here well, now it all seems so clear. Baby, you're the one that I've been dreaming of, if anyone can make me fall in love, you can. Only you can take me sailing in your deepest eyes, bring me to my knees and make me cry, and no one's ever done this, everything was just a lie and I know, yes, I know. This is where it all begins, so tell me it will never end, I can't fool myself, it's you and no one else.

To you,
When I think back on these times and the dreams we left behind, I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life. When I look back on these days, I look and see your face; you were right there for me. In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky, in my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life. I'll keep a part of you with me, and everywhere I am, there you'll be. You know you showed me how it feels, to feel the sky within my reach, and I always will remember all the strength you gave to me. Your love made me make it through, oh but listen, I owe so much to you. 'Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength. And I want to thank you now for all the ways. From the deepest of my heart I want you to know that I love you and will always do no matter what they say.

Final words.

I say,

"About those words I said telling you to go away, I really meant it. Things are getting harder, and about you, it did not turn out as I expected. I want to stop wasting my time counting on you and on hopes. I have loved you for a long time and that's not what I want to discuss. I know there is something fishy going on with your studies and yourself. Don't explain, okay? I don't feel like being a confidante. And you won't tell either. I am just a fragile, unfortunate delicate child who can't deal with too much pressure. I don't want us to get into another serious quarrel. I don't want that to happen 'cause if it happened once again, just once, there is a huge possibility I may not be your friend ever again. I think it is quite obvious that I am not a quarrelsome, right? Celebrating this Holy Month of Ramadhan as well, I don't want to pick up another fight. I can't cope with things now. I can't understand you like I used to. Sometimes you can be so cordial, in other times you can be real sarcastic. Much to my expectation too, you do not love me as much as I love you. That is why I said, just go ahead with your studies and stop worrying about me 'cause you can't cope with two things or more at one time unless you are a genius. When it comes to what had happened, seriously I can't cope. 1 month and half, loads happened in between. I don't want cheesy things like that keep bugging my head on and on. I seem happy everywhere I expose myself, don't be fooled. Don't you be fooled too. People see me as a strong one, I am fragile inside. My words may be strong, my mind isn't. I lost my spirit again. And this time, it took my entire life. It isn't just about my studies and myself, it is far beyond that. IT TOOK AWAY MY HAPPINESS. Do you know that I wish, how I wish I am not passing through this hell. Yes, you can never imagine the pain I am carrying. That is why I feel it in a usual way when you keep saying about pain even though I understand the difficulties you are in. So, if you think this is just another same and lame obstacle we as human are facing, you're mistaken. Therefore, don't you say you understand how I felt and currently feel. I hope we will finally able to sort out things."

This is the real extract.

-.-

Throat is not feeling well.
Hopefully tak demam.
Chow.

Selamat Berpuasa!

Semoga Ramadhan kali ini lebih bermakna, hanya itu pintaku. Memang ia sudah terlebih makna pun sekarang.










-.-

Kisah duit & jam.

Aku bangga bila menjadi antara manusia terawal yang berpeluang menyentuh, mencium dan memiliki duit baru ni bulan lepas. (gahaha! menyentuh & mencium tak tahan tuh! sumpah jakun giler)

Aku tertipu. Jocker ye ye cakap kat aku dia beli jam CK. Siap tunjuk gambar yg dia snap kat henpon. Dah la aku ni lurus escalator! Ini baru penipuan pertama. terus percaya tapi tak la sepenuhnya sebab pelik kenapa dia tak pakai. Aku pun puji2 la dia kata dia dah kaya lah apa lah pastu tanya kenapa tak pakai jam tuh? Sekali dia cakap, kejap ek, kejap. Jap lagi dia datang balik kat aku dengan jam dah siap di pergelangan tangannya. Wowza! Berkerut2 muka aku menatap jam itu.


Aku tak berapa ingat la rupa dia tapi macam tu la kot? haha. Tetiba dia cakap "haha. bukan i punya lah. marco punya. dia beli RM1100 woh." yea tu lah penipuan kedua! Ciscake punya tongsan! Penat aku je puji dia dah kaya la apa lah sekali hujung2 cerita, bukan dia punya pun. Saja nak promote Marco kat aku ke hape hah? Sabar je la. Dalam geram tu rasa kelakar juga sebab aku lurus kalah bendul. ahahahahahhah. terima kasih kerana memperbodohkan aku.
Aku mempunyai banyak angan2 untuk memiliki jam tangan CK. It's okay, like someone said, berangan tak payah bayar pun. Aku suka sebab design dia pelik2. Antara yg paling buat mata aku bersinar-sinar bila tengok yg ni lah.



Bersinar-sinar nak tengok je. Takde lah sampai nak beli. Haha. Tapi agak2 kalau beli cool tak? Yg pertama tuh terlalu keperempuanan which i don't like to let it represent myself in that kinda way. Ye mereka adalah kaum jam yang pelik! Yg bulat, bengkok, panjang, lebar, lonjong, gemuk, kurus, tua, muda semua ada! Haha! Walaupun pepelik tapi mereka pelik yang menarik.



Yg ni paling best! Haihhhh! Macam purse dah! @_@

Send It On - Disney' Friends for Change.

SUMPAH AKU CEMBURU TENGOK NICK MAIN GUITAR UNTUK MILEY. LM**O. NICK PULOK YG AKU DOK CEMBURUKAN! TENGOK JOE MERENUNG DEMI PUN AKU CEMBURU UNTA GAK! HAHAHA. XD

Smile.

Hari tu aku mimpi mak aku. Dia cakap, dia dah buat keputusan nak tinggalkan anak-anak dia. Kita orang yg anak2 dia ni bantah and tak kasi dia pergi tapi dia tetap berdegil. Tapi aku tau dia pun tak sanggup sebab aku nampak dia sedih cuma aku tak tau reason kenapa dia nak tinggalkan kita orang. Lepas tu dia kata, kalau dia datang semula dalam hidup kami a.k.a kembali mencari anak2 dia, dia minta kami jangan pedulikan dia langsung. Kalau mak korang cakap macam tu direct depan korang, mesti korang faham apa yang aku rasa kan? And u know what? In the future dalam mimpi tu perkara tu betul2 terjadi. 1 day aku nampak dia somewhere in town pegang gambar anak2 dia and tanya orang samada kenal anak2 dia ataupun tidak. Dalam ramai2 tu dia tak perasan aku ada lalu sebelah dia. Dalam hati aku sangat meronta2 nak peluk dia. tapi aku ingat pesan dia kalau suatu hari ternampak dia lagi, jangan tegur dia atau apa pun. Aku tak tau kenapa aku patuh arahan dia tu. Tu yang sangat melukakan hati aku. Aku cuma pandang dia berlalu dengan mata yang berkaca. Sedih sangat kot sebab tu bila terjaga air mata merembes keluar. Haha. Selalunya camtu la. Maksud dia tak kasi tegur tu maybe sebab dia nak tengok kami dari jauh tanpa perlu berjumpa dengannya. But why? Sumpah mimpi itu aneh. entahlah. Tapi aku memang sedih. Aku rasa kalau mimpi tentang dia yang tu paling teruk lah. Ada sekali tu mimpi nampak dia menyapu dari jauh pun sedar2 je dah menangis. Serious cakap, tiap kali aku mimpi mak yang sedih je aku mesti sedih sebab ia selalu mimpi yang sedih. Berbelit-belit tak? haha. Pastu sedar2 je ada air mata mengalir. Rupanya aku nangis masa tidur. Bila aku cerita kat dia, macam kelakar je bunyinya tapi entahlah. perkara2 pelik tapi benar memang selalu terjadi dalam kehidupan. Ia terpulang la pada kita untuk menentukan maksudnya tanpa mengetahui apa yang telah tersirat. Di hujung hari, hanya ada satu kesimpulan. Nak tau?

"Smile, though your heart is aching.
Smile, even though it’s breaking,
when there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by.
If you smile, with your fear and sorrow,
smile and maybe tomorrow,
you’ll find that life is still worthwhile,
if you just light up your face with gladness,
hide every trace of sadness,
although a tear maybe ever so near,
that’s the time you must keep on trying.
Smile, what’s the use of crying,
you’ll find that life is still worthwhile,
if you just smile. :)"

That's what he thought me. I missed you.

Read this, love.

Dear Love.

My world is cloudy. The sun does not appear to insist on joy and warm my heart. Why?
There are many days that my heart cries and can not leave this prison of sorrow. The pain is so much that I am breathless. It seems that nostalgia begins to take care of me, and my heart begins to shrink from pain, a hand to shake it you know? Will it kill him? I am a nightmare. I am dreaming that I stopped to see you, I gotta hear. What? Where are you? Appears now please, I can't handle this more silence. Are you there? Listen to me, please, wherever you are now. I'm begging for your presence.

Tried all life as we would find an angel. I would like to know your personality, your voice and your appearance. I can embrace it and ask you how was the sky. So find the peace I needed in my life. One day I discovered this angel. I was happy to learn that it had a name: YOU! By you, all that I know now in life-God, can be slow to show me the image of the angel, but showed me in a wonderful and true.

He is for all my life an example to follow. My source of inspiration.
I am a fan he is the only real man on Earth;
I am a fan he has a huge heart and wonderful;
I am a fan so he made the world, giving them hope;
I am a fan for his smile and happiness he gave to me;
I am a fan for his wonderful eye, the truth and purity that they envy so much. I am fan of him all that he has been and will in the world and in my life. He taught me to live. He gave me a world of dreams. He taught me to love. He showed me the sky and told me he was a star, a star that shines and inhabits the moon. A man eternal. An angel on Earth.

Dark tracks.

Cinta bukanlah alasan sebenar Helios berkahwin dengan Countessa. Aku tahu tentang itu. Malah tidak pernah pun aku merasakan perjanjian antara Helios dan aku selama ni hanya palsu semata-mata. Aku tahu dengan cara ini sahaja Helios mampu selamatkan dunia magis daripada cengkaman dunia gelap. Hanya satu yang membuatkan aku terkilan. Aku rela korbankan apa sahaja malah nyawa aku sendiri untuk bersama Helios. Tetapi bagi Helios, dia boleh berbuat apa sahaja untuk melindungi dunianya, termasuk mengorbankan janji kami berdua. Goodbye, my dear Helios.

Roda takdir berputar mengikut paksinya. Apa yang ditakdirkan, itulah yang berlaku. Lalu aku nekad untuk lari dari dunia magis ini. Sukar untuk aku pastikan sama ada betul atau tidak keputusan yang aku ambil ni. Tapi aku teruskan juga. Pelik bukan? Setelah segala kebenaran terbukti, hati ini jadi tenang. Memang sukar dipercaya Louis tergamak mengkhianati aku, plan Helios, komplot dan perasaan seseorang yang tidak pernah aku temui tapi rupa parasnya begitu aku kenali - Soileh. Jika ditakdirkan sudah sampai masanya aku pergi, aku harap ini semua bukan disebabkan Helios malah seluruh dunia termasuk dunia manusia. Buat pertama kali dan juga terakhir baru aku dapat rasakan betapa perlunya aku dalam hidup ni.

Things you don't know about me.

What is on your bed right now?
clothes and magazines.

When was the last time you threw up?
2.8.09.

What's your favorite word or phrase?
approximately!

Name 3 people who made you smile today?
jocker, abah, kak mira.

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
tidur.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
online.

What is your favorite holiday?
bila satu keluarga dapat meluangkan masa bersama2 :)

Have you ever been to another country?
selalu dalam mimpi. haha.

What is the last thing you said aloud?
coz I miss youu babe~

What is the best ice cream flavor?
chocolattesss.

What was the last thing you had to drink?
plain water.

What are you wearing right now?
shorts and shirt.

What was the last thing you ate?
ice cream.

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
nope.

When was the last time you ran?
cnt recall.

What's the last sporting event you watched?
EPL.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I just wanna be with that guy, wherever he is now. yes that guy.

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
syafiq itik!

Ever go camping? nope :(

Do you have a tan?
nope.

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
ye kot? haha.

What is your guilty pleasure?
loads.

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?
a lot but not that lot. lol.

Do you drink your soda from a straw?
yes.

What did your last text message say?
cakap dengan hasya, mummy otw balik.

Are you someone's best friend?
yes yess.

What are you doing tomorrow?
pegi sana, pegi sini, blabla.

Where is your mom right now?
tengok Sekar. haha.

Look to your left, what do you see?
flowers.

What color is your watch?
seriously, dah lama tak pakai jam. T_T

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
gold coast, sydney and and salaam namaste :D

Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
hahaha. tak pernah. yea saya memang penakut.

What is your birthstone?
topaz! xD

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
i go in most of the time.

Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate?
if I hate them, I’ll surely erase them right away.

Do you have a dog?
neh but dog is cute. >.>

Last person you talked to on the phone?
abah.

Any plans today?
after this? tido laa.

Are you happy?
deeply, I ain’t.

Where are you right now?
home.

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
cash.

Last song listened to?
hold my hand.

Last movie you saw?
g.i joe: the rise of cobra.

Are you allergic to anything?
seafood. T_T

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
sneakers.

Are you jealous of anyone?
totallyyy!

Are you married?
kinda.

Is anyone jealous of you?
who?

Do any of your friends have children?
yeah.

Do you eat healthy?
not really.

What do you usually do during the day?
at studio, freezing.

Do you hate anyone right now?
nope.

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
not really.

How many kids do you want when you're older?
approximately 2-3.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
19. T_T

Have you ever been to Six Flags?
ohh tidaak.

How did u get one of your scars?
jatuh basikal. huwaaaa. T_T

Kesusahan ialah kawan saya!

Trouble he will find you, no matter where you go, oh oh
No matter if you're fast, no matter if you're slow, oh oh
The eye of the storm or the cry in the morn, oh oh
You're fine for a while but you start to lose control

He's there in the dark
He's there in my heart
He waits in the wings
He's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend yeah trouble is a friend of mine
Ahh~

Trouble is a friend but trouble is a foe, oh oh
And no matter what I feed him he always seems to grow, oh oh
He sees what I see and he knows what I know, oh oh
So don't forget as you ease on down the road

He's there in the dark
He's there in my heart
He waits in the wings
He's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend yeah trouble is a friend of mine
oh oh
So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm
I won't let him win but I'm a sucker for his charm
Trouble is a friend yeah trouble is a friend of mine
ahh~

How I hate the way he makes me feel
And how I try to make him leave,
I try, oh oh I try!

oh oh je all the way nyanyi! haha :D

I don't want to miss a thing.

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

I don’t wanna close my eyes, i don’t wanna fall asleep
‘Cause I miss you babe, and I don’t want to miss a thing
‘Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do, I’d still miss you babe
And I don’t want to miss a thing

Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating
And I’m wondering what you’re dreaming
Wondering if it’s me you’re seeing
Then I kissed your eyes and thank God we’re together
I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever, forever and ever

And I don’t wanna miss one smile
I don’t wanna miss one kiss
I just wanna be right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just wanna stay in this moment, for all the rest of time

You missed...me?

Buzzed me all of a sudden... Why?
Rindu? Ke aku yang perasan sendiri? Aku rindukan kau? Setahu aku, kebelakangan ni aku tak terfikirkan kau langsung. Bermimpikan kau pun tidak. Kenapa juga kau mengganggu ketenteraman? Sekadar mahu tahu aku masih hidup dengan bernafas menghirup toksik yang kau racunkan di udara? Atau saja mahu mendarahkan luka yg dah lama berparut? *mendarahkan? haha bantai!* Tapi kau juga tidak berkata apa2 selepas itu. Aku bingung. Kalau benar kau ada sesuatu yang kau mahu aku tahu, just say it out loud. Jangan bermain hide and seek dengan aku. Aku tak mampu membaca fikiran kau. Kalau aku mampu, aku takkan macam orang dungu terkial mencari jawapan. Aku pun tidak mempunyai jawapan untuk segala persoalan yang memeningkan itu. For me, God knows the best. Sudahlah, aku tak mampu berkata2 lagi bila saja ia berkenaan kau. hiduplah dengan gembira di samping orang2 yang mampu membahagiakan kau jika itu boleh buat kau gembira. Aku? Aku sentiasa bersedia menerima kau kembali dalam hidup aku yg serbi kekurangan ni. Cuma pesanan aku, akan tiba suatu saat nanti di mana hati aku setawar air sirap tanpa gula menolak kau sekeras-kerasnya jauh dari hidup aku, dan kalau ia terjadi jangan pernah kau menyesali keadaan itu. Aku tidak berdoa supaya ia terjadi. Dan jangan bimbang, aku sudah lama maafkan segala perbuatan baik & buruk kau.

G.I Joe & stunning chicks!

Sebagai tambahan kepada gadis2 yg pernah aku paparkan dulu.

Kak Hunny <3

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Janet Jackson

Megan Fox

Carmen Electra

Sienna Miller! GO GIRL!!

I was suffering insomnia again yesterday, yet i still text ngan Ara. Very semangat our conversation was! hahaha. I ended up sleeping at approximately 5 in the morning. I have to wake up at 8 actually, out of my realization when suddenly i realized why did i have to wake up that early 'cause guitar & drum classes had already been postponed to Sunday? Shitty me. Penat je aku terkial2 bangun, tapi still kena siap2 juga lah kan. Pagi2 ramai nak pakai tandas awam! Sapa lambat nasib la! Wawawawa. After spending so many hours handling this and that, makan (makan pun berjam ke? haha) & melayan kerenah Aiman yg suka buat aku hilang sabar, finally me and Killer bertolak ke destinasi yg ingin dituju. Siyes, we did not actually miss the 6.15pm showtime but INTENTIONALLY picked the 6.55pm showtime. Sebab apa? Sebab seat tak best, dapat seat tepiii sekali. And Killer usually will ask me about picking up seats. Kalau aku kata ok baru kita orang confirm, kalau aku kata taknak means it's a no! Hehe! Thanks honey! Sayang kau lebih la yang! xD yeah, it happens 'cause we are like twins. We share 99.9% of same interests. Even every single person around us tells us the same thing! hee. Ok enough of that. We went to watch this.

Channing Stunning Tatum!
Damit! Saja je letak poster Duke punya! Hahahaha. (elele ada orang cover sengih) Geesh! Suddenly i feel like i just love Channing Tatum. Yeah yeah yeah, i know it's lame with Step Up, She's The Man & Fighting, but i do think that he was really sweet in the movie. Bayangkanlah, just Baroness (his ex-gf which also his enemy) yg iye2 blasah dia but he never fought back. Dem. Kalau aku dah lama hilang sabar! Haha. Rileks2 emosional pulak. Kalah bini CT dan bini dia yg mungkin sedang membaca entri ni! haha! Sienna Miller memang best. tu yg pi buh gambar dia tu! xD dah lah gorgeous, stunning, model lagi, she was even fighting with 6 inches high heels u know! Dulu aku kurang minat dia la, tau pun tau muka ngan nama je but now i totally like her. For this movie, i give 5 stars. Ending macam tergantung that's why i bet there must be a sequel next. Emm, what would the title be uh? The Rise of Kuda? gahaha xD
ohh yeah, there was Brendan Fraser and Jonathan Pryce too which i did not notice in the list of casting. Ramai gila tengok cerita tu. Oh mummy, i forgot to wear the mask. Sorry! Killer dah ready pakai awal2, masa beli popcorn lagi. hahaha. Memang kat campus dia pun dah mula pakai dah. Aku pun nak pakai juga pasni memandangkan keadaan yg semakin meruncing sekarang. After watching the movie, we went together like always to find a cab. Hihi! Yang tak bestnya cab ada, pemandunya pula tiada. Ada dua cab tapi dua2 takde supir. Ciscake gilerr. I was really exhausted to be true but mana lah pakcik teksi yang hilang entah ke mana tu tau kan. Mula2, kita orang je kat situ. Tetiba datang lagi 2 orang. Sorang laki sorang perempuan, dua2 bertubuh normal. Lebih kurang beberapa minit kemudian, datang dua orang lagi, sorang lelaki ala2 Sean Kingston, sorang perempuan bertudung tak cukup tutup. Bila dorang dah jauh skit aku pun nyanyi.

"Say all, sean kingston!"
killer menyambung..."you're way too beautiful girl, that's why it will never work..."

Setelah terbahak2 ketawa tak lama kemudian datang seekor sebiji sebuah cab yang bernama Ragamkenainjitsingh a/l jagajagadiakiciksingh. Dah lah berhenti punya la jauh aku nak menapak, bila tanya boleh hantar ke kawasan sekian2 ke tak, bagi alasan pula lagi. Setelah melakukan perbincangan sekejap ngan Killer, kami memutuskan "take it or leave it". So we took the cab.

Cerita tak habis lagi la. Haha. Masa dalam cab tu aku mencipta satu drama. Aku ikut slang India tu. Killer actually knew what i was all about. So she just followed up to all my actions. Haha. Come on la dey, i was only wanted to tease him. Lalu bermulalah satu episod drama keling.

Aku: (bukakan pintu untuk Killer dalam slang india) ladies first, ladies first.
Killer: oh so you are not a lady la?
Aku: yes yes.
Taxi driver: oh so you are not lady? then who are you?
Me: i am a man. i am a man on the outside. Lady on the inside. *ada orang tahan gelak*
Taxi driver: *tersengih je sepanjang masa* oh a man..
Aku: yes, i am not a lady. i'm ladybug. i'm not ladylike.
Killer: *giggling as hard as she can tried to cover her laugh. haha*
Taxi driver: oh ok2. so you are a tomboy huh?
Aku: no noo. i am not a tomboy.
Taxi driver: then you said you're a man? so you must be a tomboy.
Aku: no no. tomboy has a short hair. i have a long hair.
Taxi driver: *giggling* who are you? you can speak indian slang uh. but you're not indian.
Aku: yes yes. i can speak indian slang. come on la, both my sisters also can speak indian slang, how come i cannot? aiyoo.
Killer: *dah start nak gelak menggila*
Taxi driver: but you are not indian. how come?
Aku: oh, i'm from Indiana, USA.
Taxi driver: *laughing* oh ok2, i see.

Bila naik cab pakcik Melayu, keluar lagu radio Era. Bila naik cab apek cina, keluar lagu radio MY.fm. Bila naik cab India, keluar lagu hindustan.

Aku: *talking to Killer* ey, there's music. dance la. u don't wanna dance kaa?
Killer: no no. *shook her head*
Aku: alaa, dance laa. *again she shook her head*

Aku cuba bermacam2 benda dalam cab India tu. Tarik tisu, tekan pintu, ketuk pintu, goncang popcorn yg belum habis, goncang ais dalam tinggal dalam coke, last sekali sendawa kuat yang direka. Part goncang2 ngan sendawa tu Killer dah tak tahan nak gelak. India tu lak layan je. Nasib ah. Haha.

Taxi driver: ok, where are we going after this?
Aku: where uh? *looking at Killer* go to GL.
Taxi driver: left or right?
Aku: left left.
Taxi driver: left left then left or what?
Aku: no no. just go this left. *while pointing to the road* then go straaaight to heaven.
Killer: *finally bursting out her laugh* weh, kalau macam tu kita mati la.
Aku: hahahaha.
Taxi driver: *giggling hardly*
Aku: ok. just go straight, n straight n straight n woooppp, this house this house, this this thissss! ok this house.
The cab stopped right in front of my house and Killer paid for the fee.
Killer: sapa tu? *pointing outside*
Aku: oh that is my brother in-law.
Killer: oh your brother in-law..
Aku: *to the taxi driver* ok, alright. thanks. don't come again.
Killer: *laughing*
Taxi driver: *sengih je la dia mampu! haha*
Aku: okay, don't come again haa.

So that was it. After closing the door, Killer just couldn't stop giggling and laughing all the way. Slang India aku pun berakhir. Haha. Lepas pulangkan semua cd dia yang aku pinjam, plus pinjamkan dia dvd Final Destination 3, mama dia datang jemput dia. We really had fun today. I really had fun. Thanks for the popcorn and drinks honey! Thanks for paying the cab fee! Thanks for everything! I love you so soo much! :)
Ok, that's all for today. See you around.

Bukan kasihku.

Inikah akhirnya, tinggallah lara di sini, terpadamlah api kasih setelah dikau pergi, telah kukorbankan, sudah aku curahkannya, semua kasih suci pada dirimu. Takku mahu asmara kan hancur seperti debu, takku mahu dirimu bukan lagi kekasihku, dan di sini tinggallah aku menantikan kasih, sesaat berlalu bertahun kurasa. Ohh manakah silapnya, kemanakah kan kubawa erti cinta sejati, cuma dimimpi, oh pedihnya... *lagu ini sangat indah. huu*

Aku tiba2 rindu dengan old pals masa dulu. Sebahagian daripada mereka masih bersama aku sampai sekarang, sebahagian lagi aku tak tau lah hilang ke mana. Aku bukan cuma rindukan dorang tapi kenangan2 indah ketika sama2 mengumpat, membodek, gurau senda dan sebagainya. Sapa tuh? Kasuke yg penyayang + berbudi bahasa + jujur + amanah? hahaha. Aku paling rindu - athirah, alif, alia, amad, ameer ikhwan, cean, dara naquiah, iera, eiz, farah shafeena, sha, reen, farith, mya carnella, narz, nadeeya mcadams, and yes so do her cousin, daniel ashraf! Daniel, i don't know why but i do miss him like crazy at some times. I miss them so so damn much. Akan adakah waktunya aku bisa bersama2 mereka lagi? Entahlah. Hanya Tuhan yang menentukan segalanya. Ada beberapa nama lagi yang malas aku nak sebut di sini. Nama yang hanya akan menambahkan luka di hati? Mungkin ye mungkin tidak. Biarlah nama tersebut tersimpan dalam lipatan hati.

OFF RECORD.

You are?

Yes, silent is the best remedy. And you are being a star right now. Which in case either you are hurt or enjoying your life, i am never pleased with anything. I am a perfectionist, it's part of who i am.

The Proposal & the upcoming proposal.

Yes yes yes yes yess! Akhirnya tadi saya pergi juga tengok cerita ni.


Mula mula semalam saya minta mak hantarkan tapi tiba tiba dia buat saya merajuk ngan dia. Terus tak jadi nak berkata kata. Tadi pun saya bangun lambat sikit je, terus dia dah keluar biarkan saya pandai pandai buat hal sendiri. Takpe lah saya pun tak kisah. Tepat jam 12 tengah hari saya berangkat naik teksi. Tsk tsk. hangus 15 ringgit. T_T
Tapi tapi tu tak berapa sedih sangat. Saya call semua orang tapi takde sapa pun nak temankan saya tengok. So kesimpulannya saya tengok sorang sorang lah. UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. (airmata merembes keluar kalah peluh ketiak! haha) Sampai makcik kat kaunter tiket tu pun tanya,

"tengok sorang je ke?"
"Ye la, makcik ada nampak sapa2 ke sebelah saya ni."
"hehehe. nak duduk mana?"
"Situ lah, situ. situ situ situ."
"sini pun kosong. orang ni pun datang sorang. boleh duduk sebelah dia. mana tau boleh kenalan pulak nanti."
"hahahaha. yelah makcik."

Entah apa apa makcik tu. Tak kisahlah, layankan je. Saya pilih tempat duduk yang sangatlah jauh dari orang lain dan agak agak lah seat tu sedang sedang elok je. Tapi bila masuk macam tak best pula. Memandangkan banyak gila seat kosong saya pun mengembara mencari posisi yang sebaik mungkin. Dapat lah juga satu seat yang betul2 just nice. Tak ramai orang memang sejukkk. Tapi best juga sebab rasa luas je, kaki pun siap sandar kat seat depan. Muahahaha. oh cerita tu? Sedap sedap sedap! Kelakar kelakar dan kelakar. Sandra & Ryan memang comedians pun so what more can you expect. Part telanjang tak tahan tuh. Hahaha. Then as i expected, takde sapa pun yang boleh fetch aku. Inilah masalah yang sering aku alami bila saja mau keluar. Tapi sebenarnya tak kisah sapa bawak pun as long ada transport! xD ye lah kan. Janji sampai ke destinasi yang dituju. hangus lagi 15 ringgit..tapi yang bestnya abah ganti duit aku TANPA DIMINTA! Ye ah, keluar2 cab je abah kasi. Belum sempat aku bersuara lagi tapi memang takde niat pun nak dia ganti sebab takde kena mengena dengan abah kan kan kan? hahahaha. Apa2 pun mekasih bah. Pasni nak claim kat bini abah lak. Hahahahha. Sampai tempat biasa aku pun memulakan rutin harian walaupun hari ni agak bosan. Pokoknya, apa yang aku nak aku dah dapat. One down, a few more to go! (dalam misi menonton semua cerita yang sedang & akan ditayangkan sebelum MEREMPUH BULAN PUASA!) Ada lagi 2 minggu lebih sebelum puasa. Harap2 semua filem tuh keluar lah cepat2.

G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra
The Final Destination 4
&
I Love You Beth Cooper,
here i come!

Prenggg preng preng prenggggg!

Video untuk pening pening kepala. Sila sila tengok. xD



Hari ni PENAAAAAAATTTT. Rasa seperti nak tidur awal sikit. Cewaaahhh cam boleh je. Boleh blah la.

Nephewhh.

Anak saudara yang tidak mendengar cakap. Ini Aiman tak kisah. Aiman tak kisah? ye, aiman tak kisah.






Dulu dia putih. Sekarang totally hitam legam. Hahaha. Kulitnya mudah dimakan matahari. pastu gemuk, boroi, gendut, lentik. Macam aku lah. Dia memang gila berphotoshoot. Gambar buruk pun tak kisah janji bergambo. Pastu kalau nak ps mesti nak dengan maksu dia ni. Sumpah kalau takde mood memang kena hempuk ar dia. Tapi aku suka gambar pertama tuh. Mata dengan hidung dia cantik! Haha >.>

Ni gambar lama dia dengan Hasya and Adruce. Adruce cute oh! >_<


gambar hasya and aishah tetiba lesap kat folder aku. I wonder whothefuck yang ngambil. Aarghhhhh tensen!

Happy Birthday Mummies!

Rabiah Abdullah
27 July 1951 - Now
happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to mummy, happy birthday to you. Happy 58th birthday dear mum! i love you so friggin much! Well, currently adik tak ada duit to buy your present. But as soon as lepas adik claim gaji yang seciput unta tu, adik belikan your present tu eh. Actually it depends on its price juga la. Kalau lebih 100 bugs, tahun depan je la adik beli ek. Hahaha. xD
Permintaan mak aku tak banyak. Just dia nak flowering plant tu je. InsyaAllah kalau ada duit aku belikan. :)
Ramai juga wish dia. HOTLINK, SENHENG. Tu semua kira kawan2 baik dia la.
Wtfrog?
Haha tak lah. Our family and friends plus my beloved friends. Thanks for the wish guys! :)
Abah belanja makan hari ni! Best gila! >.<
tapi dia tak cakap nak belanja, aku dah siap2 makan pukul 7 tadi. Alih2 aku suruh dia beli kailan ikan masin dengan fresh orange je. Kailan tu aku tak makan lagi, fresh orange dah telan la. hahahaha.


Internet gila 3 hari memang rosakkan mood aku. Rasa nak hempuk je menatang wireless nih. Kak Mira kedekut nak kasi pinjam broadband dia. Tak kisahlah. Janji sekarang dah ok skit.

Selsema Babi memang betul2 BA**!

Tengah hari tadi mak aku bagitau Uncle Lim dah terjangkit virus tak senonoh tu. Kurang asam punya babi. Haihhhhhhhhhhhhh. Mak aku cakap dia baru balik dari Aussie semalam then masa check kat airport confirm. Aduh...kesian Uncle Lim. Kak Mira dah bagi warning kat mak kami supaya jangan berjumpa dengan dia langsung sekarang sebab mak aku suka g rumah dia. Nasib baik dia kat Klang sekarang. Dia sepatutnya meng-kuarantin-kan diri dia. Macam mana dia boleh terlepas kat airport ek? Pelik betul. Harap2 dia cepat sembuh supaya tak terjebak kat kita orang juga. AMIN.

Abah suruh aku buat bisnes, dia kata dia akan beri modal. Fewhhh...bisnes apalah aku reti buat. Bisnes menjahanamkan bisnes reti lah. Itu aku memang pakar. *sniffing*
Nantilah adik pikirkan dulu ye bah.
Abah punya pandangan bukak kiosk jual minyak wangi.
Pada pandangan adik, enjoy duit abah je lah bleh? hahahaha.



3 days more.

991.

There goes the sunshine,
Here comes the rain,
And heartache pain,
What can i do but wait for you?
Darling the days i had were cold.
Now our separate ways we go,
It seems you want more than the love i can give,
But i can't make you stay,
And you've got your life to live,
But if it gets too rough, call on me.
Dreams of golden glare,
Taking you away from here,
But if ever things that have to be turns your dreams around,
Love and understanding is what you need,
If you can't get enough, call on me.
I'm so sad you're leaving,
It's going to kill me not to be with you,
But i want you to be happy.
If heartache's what you want,
Then i want it too.
So goodbye with all my prayers,
For your happiness in a world elsewhere,
Should you arrive and it's not there, call on me.
Yes, happiness.
Waits for you elsewhere.
Remember this,
Should you arrive and it's not there,
Call on me, yes, do call on me.

See i just can’t find the right thing to say,
I tried but all my pain gets in the way,
Tell me what i have to do so you’ll stay,
Should i get down on my knees and pray?
And how can i stop losing you,
How can i begin to say,
When there’s nothing left to do but walk away.
I close my eyes,
Just to try and see you smile one more time,
But it’s been so long now and all i do is cry,
Can’t we find some love to take this away?
Because the pain gets stronger every day.
How can i begin again,
How am i to understand.
See now why all my dreams been broken,
I don’t know where we’re going,
Everything we said and all we done now,
Don’t let go, don’t know where we’re going.
Everything begins to set us free,
Can’t you see? I don’t wanna walk away.
If you go i won’t forget you,
Can’t you see that you will always be,
Even though i had to let you go,
There’s nothing left to do.

Like a comet blazing across the evening sky,
Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye,
Shiny and sparkly and splendidly bright here one day,
gone one night.
Like the loss of sunlight on a cloudy afternoon,
Like a castle built upon a sandy beach,
Like a perfect flower that is just beyond your reach,
Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight here one day,
gone one day.
Like a sunset dying with the rising of the moon,
you're gone too soon.

Mischievous JoBros .

4 days to go!










i wonder which one is Joe. LOL

They were performing BB Good.

And mum,
Thanks for treating me nicely and buying me my favorite carrot slice even though i was acting like hell. :)

TIWILY.

Damn it. I am missing you again and again. When I heard stories about you, i just can't stop until i get enough. But at least now i know what were you hiding behind your pretentious acts. Let's get it started.

When i think you are the coolest and happiest person in the world, you said this.

"People think they know me, but they don't. Not really. Actually, i am one of the loneliest people on this earth. I cry sometimes, because it hurts. It does. To be honest, i guess you could say that it hurts to be me."

Well, of course. I didn't know that at all because u never told. But did you expect me to know that? You tell me. No, you can't even tell me anything since the day you left me.

"I'll always be Peter Pan in my heart."

Why?

Well, you don't get to do things that other children get to do, having friends and slumber parties. There were none of that for me. I didn't have friends. My brothers were my friends. And i remember going to the recording studio and there was a park across the street and I'd see all the children playing and i would cry because it would make me sad that i would have to work instead."

"I was a veteran, before i was a teenager."

Why?

"Because i think every child star suffers through this period because you're not the cute and charming child that you were. You start to grow, and they want to keep you little forever. Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation. But i will never stop helping and loving people the way He said to."

When i was wondering if you ever pleased with things you did, you said this.

"I'm never pleased with anything, i'm a perfectionist, it's part of who i am."

When i was grieving thinking you could ever had your spirits away, you said this.

"They did it to try and belittle me, to try and to take away my pride. But i went through the whole system with them. And at the end, i - i wanted the public to know that i was okay, even though i was hurting."

When i wondered what did you do after that, you said this.

"I wake up from dreams and go "Wow, put this down on paper." The whole thing is strange. You hear the words, everything is right there in front of your face."

When i was wondering did you really done that to kids, you said this.

"Before i would hurt a child, i would slit my wrists."

When i was thinking that you have done all the best i can ever imagine, you said this.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, and the best is yet to come!"

But you never fulfilled your promise. That's what breaking me the most.

When i was confused about your words that sharing bed is a loving thing to do, you explained this and i had it all cleared.

"Why can't you share your bed? The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone. It's very charming. It's very sweet. It's what the whole world should do."

When i was wondering what Vitiligo is, you said this.

"I have a skin disorder that destroys the pigmentation of my skin, it's something that i cannot help, ok?"

When i was really wondering about why you created that kind of place, you said this.

"Because i wanted to have a place that i could create everything that i never had as a child. So, you see rides. You see animals. There's a movie theater."

When i was wondering what have you done to the world that made it appreciates you until now, you said this.

"I've helped many, many, many children, thousands of children, cancer kids, leukemia kids."

When i was wondering why you loved kids that much, you said this.

"When i see children, i see the face of God. That's why i love them so much. That's what i see. Children show me in their playful smiles the divine in everyone. This simple goodness shines straight from their hearts and only asks to be lived."

When i was wondering about your reaction about those untrue rumours media always spread about you, you said this.

"It's a complete lie, why do people buy these papers? It's not the truth, i'm here to say. You know, don't judge a person, do not pass judgement, unless you have talked to them one on one. I don't care what the story is, do not judge them because it is a lie."

I didn't ever realised and know what you felt when everyone was calling you the name you actually did not like.

"Yeah, Wacko Jacko, where did that come from? Some English tabloids. I have a heart and i have feelings. I feel that when you do that to me. It's not nice. Don't do it. I'm not a wacko."

When i was wondering about sarcastic critisms people gave you about your face, you said this.

"You know, let's put it this way, if all the people in Hollywood who have had plastic surgery, if they went on vacation, there wouldn't be a person left in town."

When i was wondering were you that fine to be who you were and to survive all bad images media and people had pasted on you, you said this.

"I'm happy to be alive, i'm happy to be who i am."

And when i was wondering what would you say to everyone to at least prove that you were not guilty, you finally said this.

"I just want to say to fans in every corner of the earth, every nationality, every race, every language: i love you from the bottom of my heart. I would love your good prayers, and your goodwill, and please be with me and believe in me because i am completely, completely innocent."

that is why i love you.

Funny moments!

Here is another video showing MJ's funniest & sweetest & cutest moments. Girls, you must check this out!


He wouldn't even hurt that bug so what makes everyone think that he'd hurt little kids? He was kind of hesitating to do this and that was not because of his arrogance, but it just he was too shy. He was really a soft-spoken guy. This man was great at everything. He can sing, he looks like an angel, he can dance. He was the greatest person who ever lived. He's like an angel from heaven, like a test to see how everyone would treat him. I am so glad God created that wonderful man. :)


DAMNNNNN, HE WAS SO N SO N SOOOOOOOO ADORABLE WHEN HE GOT BLUSHED IN THE ZIPPER ACCIDENT AND WHEN HE WAS GIGGLING SAYING "SORRY, HI-I GOTTA GO!" AT 3.55!

Quote.

Ketika asyik berfikir aku terfikir tentang madah James Dean.
"dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."
Itulah yang aku sedang cuba lakukan sekarang.

Hensem jugak James Dean masa muda! haha xD

Marlon Brando yang hot! Gosh yang ini memang hot dari dulu.

Nak boyfriend ala2 mereka boleh tak? hahaha.

WAY - Where are you?

I miss someone who said this to me.

"u see hun,lets just 4get abt it and recall the happy times we had.
remember the 1st time we talked on ym? && i would never ever 4get tyme bulan puasa where we both chatting sambil tgu masa buka.n tyme sahur plak kte msg2.

Where are you dear? I want a hug from you. :(

Blalala.

He was listening to R.Kelly's Ignition.
I've seen this video for like 100 times and i just can't get enough of MJ.
See the way he smiled and danced to the camera at 1.04?
Damn he's so hot!
If i were inside the car beside his car, i think i would immediately jump out of the window to dance with him.

Here is another one with his sister Janet Jackson.
Damn he was sooooo friggin cute main Super Soaker! >.>

Know that kid? Yeap he is Macaulay Culkin, the cast of Home Alone. Sekarang dah besar dah, dah ada girlfriend pun.

This is when he did those POUTY FACES. The pout word itself makes me drooool all the way looking. He is soooooooooo good in making pouty faces. And absoofuckinglutely sexy too.

Hydrate.

Aku nak sangat tahu jawapan kepada banyak persoalan yang berlegar2 dalam minda aku ni. Banyak? Banyak like GILA GILAAAAAAAA. If only i knew what my destiny is, what awaits me ahead. Semalam (semalam lagi) aku pergi tonton cerita ini.

dan makan ini.
ratatouille?hahaha xD
Nasib malang sungguh, dah lah keluar lewat. Plan nak keluar pagi. Sekali Kak Mira cakap ada kelas keyboard jam 1.00pm. Sumpah siot gila. Lepas tu set time jam 2.00pm. Tapi tergendala jugak sebab HUJAN LEBAT seperti bebola air yang besar turun dari langit!

Okay, takde kena mengena. Lebih kurang jam 5.00pm kami sampai di tempat yang dijanjikan. Searching for waktu tayangan yang berdekatan. Namun nasib kami malang apabila tiket 5.20pm & 6.30pm sold out. Tapi takpelah boleh ambil waktu yang seterusnya (bersabar konon namun dalam hati rasa bagai nak gila). Aku tak kisah tapi Killer harus balik awal la kononnya, takut mak dia marah (CEYT). Akhirnya kami ambil keputusan untuk memilih waktu 7.45pm. Just in case you want to watch the movie pleaseee take not that tempoh tayangan adalah selama 2 JAM 45 MINIT. Yeaaaaaa! Sekejap je kan? It was not that bad just kali ni cerita dia meleret2 and lack of actions. Banyak love story la pulak. Tapi banyak juga yang kelakar. Tak faham sikit pun ada sebab aku dah lupa Order of the Phoenix, LOL. Ni ke yang media orang putih dok kritik baguih2? Ceq pun tak paham no. For me, so and so je la. Tepat 10.30pm kami keluar dari situ setelah melenguhkan bontot sekian lama dan menuju mencari kenderaan untuk pulang. Tapi aku rasa aku telah dijanjikan seseorang to fetch us namun aku tak tahu siapa! Hahahaaha. Sumpah biul. Sehinggalah jam 11.15pm tiada siapa yang datang menjemput kami. Beratus2 panggilan telah aku buat cuba mencapai ke semua orang (ni tipu la) dan akhirnya kami berjaya mendapatkan sebuah teksi. Haaahahaha..tadi tak reti pula nak cari kan. Dah nak mampus baru terkedek2 cari bantuan segera. Tapi memang at first kami taknak guna cab atas alasan duit. Ceyhhhh! Pergi mati sama duit. Hahahahaha. Alhamdulillah kami berhasil sampai di rumah masing2 sebelum jam 12.00am.
Aku ada beli sesuatu tentang dia di kedai buku. Untuk dua benda tersebut aku sanggup berhabis 50 bugs dan kalau nak dihitung2 sampai detik ini aku dah habis lebih kurang 70 bugs kerana dia. Tapi aku tak kisah. Walaupun duitku dikikis sedikit demi sedikit aku akan terus berusaha mencari jalan lain bagi mengisi kembali poket duitku yang semakin nipis. Aku penat. Aku memang penat membiarkan hidup aku seperti ini yang sentiasa dalam kepayahan mengulit moment terindah bersama dia. Namun aku redha kalau ini jalan takdirku. Aku penat juga lepas pulang ke rumah tapi aku takkan lepaskan setiap kesempatan yang ada untuk bersama dia. Aku biarkan mata dan seluruh jiwa ragaku berada bersama dia tak kira apa jua yang aku lakukan. Bahkan aku tak sengaja membiarkan imaginasi aku di luar batasan hingga sanggup membayangkan yang bersama aku ketika menonton HP ialah dia, bukan Killer. Bukannya aku sengaja mencipta khayalan itu tapi itu di luar kesedaran aku. And i could not focus on a few parts of the story because of that. If you are asking what is happening to me, aku sendiri buntu mencari jawapan untuk soalan itu. Senang cakap, tak tahu lah. Aku gila? Tidakkk. Kalau tak aku takkan buat blog ni. Sehingga pagi menjelang pun aku sukar memejamkan mata tapi akhirnya aku tertidur di dalam dakapannya yang megah berdiri di depan manusia. Bila aku terbangun dia masih berada di situ. Baik, aku rasa lebih bersedia menghadapi hari yang mendatang asalkan dia ada di samping aku no matter dalam bentuk apa sekali pun. Cukuplah, i'll continue later.

Psychiatric matter.

Boleh tak jangan jadi follower? Rimaslah! HAHA!
To all non-followers, thanks for reading.
I know this is not the best piece of writing but i am trying hardly as i can to make it better.
(tah sampai bilalah tu)

Ok? Tak? Abaikanlah entri ini.

Potion.

When I heard about your death, I fell upon the world, for me you were family. If I promise to hold you all of my days, would that be enough to show you my love? I can't express how much thoughts I'm feeling with you inside my head. Such words at such moments are empty of meaning, for me every single words you said are full of meaning. Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be. What I best know, silence is the best remedy. But now you remain silent FOREVER. We know we had made you cry. Sometimes you wanna die, but do you really feel alive without us? If so, be free. You were so special and gifted. But the most valuable gift God ever gave us is YOU. I love you from the deepest, bottom of my heart, I really do. You are not alone and I'll always be there for you. You just reach out for me, my dear, in the morning, in the evening. Although you keep me crying every night since you announced your death I will always love you until my last breath. The world is missing you each day. Rest in peace, Michael. You know we will always have you in our heart. Love, Syahira Hashim, Malaysia.

Sharing some thoughts on behalf of Malaysian citizen on his official website.

Tambah sedih bila dengar song from a secret garden yang baru didengari di sebuah laman blog. You all know how beautiful that song is. I think i need a break. Words can't explain how saddened i am at the moment.
-.-

Rindu?

Aku tidak dapat melelapkan mata sepanjang malam. Aku tak tahu punca sebenarnya. Badan aku yang gemuk ni memang absofuckinglutelately penat yang teramat tapi mata aku yang tak kenal erti penat agaknya. Dah la hari Sabtu memang hari yang paling sibuk di dunia aku yang makin suram ni, boleh pulak mata buat hal. Haish. Apa yang aku tahu, aku sangat rindukan dia. Yes dia. Hanya dengan kehadiran dia yang boleh buat dunia aku kembali tersenyum riang. Tapi itu sesuatu yang sangat2 tak mungkin akan berlaku dan aku pasrah dengan ketentuan-Nya. Kadang2 aku rasa aku dah tak boleh nak masukkan input tentang apa2 cerita tentang dia ke dalam benakku. Sesungguhnya aku tak dapat menerima hakikat sehingga kini dan cerita2 tentangnya cuma menambahkan kepedihan di hati. Namun aku hanyalah manusia biasa yang ada rasa curios lalu aku gagahkan juga diri demi memenuhi kehendak hati.

time: approximately 2.00am

habis online.

time: 2.30am

siap2 nak tidur. baring golek2 atas katil.

time: 3.30am

masih terkial2 kasi mata tidur.

time: 4.30am

cacing perut berbunyi2 minta makanan sebab tak dinner tadi.

time: 5.30am

dah tak tahan dan terus ke dapur. hanya makan 2 keping roti bakar dan segelas susu suam.

time: 5.53am

naik ke bilik dan cuba melelapkan mata namun cubaan terakhir juga gagal.

time: 9.00am

tengok tv jap. bersiap untuk menghadapi hari sibuk.

time: 1.55pm

hampir 5 jam melawan rasa ngantuk di studio. akhirnya terlelap di kerusi bos.

time: 2.05pm

terjaga setelah habis saja kelas gitar.

time: 3.00pm

lunch time. nasi paprik & milo ais.

time: 3.30 - 6.00pm

tengok persembahan live band. bosan gila. tapi pakcik yang mengetuai live band tu sebijik macam Slash bekas gitaris Gun N Roses. LOL.

time: 6.15pm

abah suruh turun bawah join makan2. kenyang makan nasi pun belum hilang lagi dah kena paksa makan lagi. sabar je la. aku setuju je sebab abah nak belanja. hahaha. aku order Chick-A-Licious with black pepper sauce. kalau ambik mushroom sauce tak mencabar arr. black pepper pun memang kesukaan haku. hoho.

time: 6.40pm

gila kekenyangan...burppp.. tak habis pun. siyes lama gila nak habiskan sampai tinggal aku sorang je pemakan kat situ. aku suruh bungkus je baki chicken wing tak berusik. on the way naik atas, dengan rela hatinya aku dermakan chicken wing tersebut kepada seorang kakak. tapi pepsi aku bawa. LOL.

time: 7.02pm

sampai rumah! woohoo heavenly heaven!

Siapa cakap aku tak letih? Letih mental pun dah mencabar gila letih fizikal apatah lagi. Cuma aku tak tahu sampai kapan kerinduan dan emosi ini akan berakhir. Dalam tempoh waktu aku tak tidur tu ada sesuatu yang aku lakukan. Aku menyelami dan mendalami emosi2 aku melalui setiap emosi yang disampaikannya. Dia berhasil membuat aku tersenyum, menangis, gembira, sedih, tersenyum dalam tangisan, tersedu dan tersedan, bertenaga hingga diri menjadi terlalu taksub dan membuat aku rasa dia sentiasa berada di samping aku bagi menandakan aku tidak keseorangan. Tapi aku akui kalau aku taksub, ia salah aku kerana tidak dapat mengawal perasaan. Namun itulah emosi2 yang aku alami ketika bergabung bersama emosinya. Kata pepatah, kita hanya benar2 terkesan dengan kehilangan seseorang apabila orang tersebut dah takde di samping kita. Yea, memang sangat benar pepatah mengungkapkannya. Bila dia sentiasa berada bersama kita sama ada di luar batas kesedaran kita atau tak, their presence seems just usually normal. Tapi bila dia dah tinggalkan kita buat selama2nya, masa tu la baru kita sedar betapa pentingnya dia buat kita. Ini selalu terjadi dalam kehidupan kerana ia lumrah alam. Nak menangis air mata darah sekalipun, kalau dia takkan kembali ke sisi kita, ianya sia2 sahaja. Lepas tu kita mula berjanji terhadap diri sendiri yang kita takkan ulang kesilapan this and that yang mengakibatkan kita kehilangan dia. Atau janji kedua yang sering diungkapkan iaitu berjanji takkan mengulangi kesilapan dengan start menghargai orang2 yang berada di sekeliling kita tak kisahlah dia begitu penting, setengah penting atau tak penting langsung. Aku dah kehilangan 2 orang yang sangat aku sayangi di dunia ni dan aku memilih janji yang kedua. Aku tak tahu. Aku bingung. Why do i listen to songs that make me cry? Even better question, why do i listen to songs that make me miss you?

Cikgu perempuan yang beli piano Victor berharga 3700 bugs hari tu dah setuju nak trade in piano Apollo yang abah baru masuk stok dengan harga 6000 bugs. Kayo beb!!! Tapi tambah 1300 bugs je lagi. But it's still MONEY! KA-CHING! @_@
Apa2 pun aku berhasil cilok 50 bugs tanpa pengetahuan Kak Mira! Haha! Thanks abah! ;)
Anyway, gambar2 ada tapi tak dapat nak masuk sebab handphone murahan aku problem. Dasar murahan! Arghh!!! Bila la nak dapat handphone baru. ;(