TIWILY.

Damn it. I am missing you again and again. When I heard stories about you, i just can't stop until i get enough. But at least now i know what were you hiding behind your pretentious acts. Let's get it started.

When i think you are the coolest and happiest person in the world, you said this.

"People think they know me, but they don't. Not really. Actually, i am one of the loneliest people on this earth. I cry sometimes, because it hurts. It does. To be honest, i guess you could say that it hurts to be me."

Well, of course. I didn't know that at all because u never told. But did you expect me to know that? You tell me. No, you can't even tell me anything since the day you left me.

"I'll always be Peter Pan in my heart."

Why?

Well, you don't get to do things that other children get to do, having friends and slumber parties. There were none of that for me. I didn't have friends. My brothers were my friends. And i remember going to the recording studio and there was a park across the street and I'd see all the children playing and i would cry because it would make me sad that i would have to work instead."

"I was a veteran, before i was a teenager."

Why?

"Because i think every child star suffers through this period because you're not the cute and charming child that you were. You start to grow, and they want to keep you little forever. Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation. But i will never stop helping and loving people the way He said to."

When i was wondering if you ever pleased with things you did, you said this.

"I'm never pleased with anything, i'm a perfectionist, it's part of who i am."

When i was grieving thinking you could ever had your spirits away, you said this.

"They did it to try and belittle me, to try and to take away my pride. But i went through the whole system with them. And at the end, i - i wanted the public to know that i was okay, even though i was hurting."

When i wondered what did you do after that, you said this.

"I wake up from dreams and go "Wow, put this down on paper." The whole thing is strange. You hear the words, everything is right there in front of your face."

When i was wondering did you really done that to kids, you said this.

"Before i would hurt a child, i would slit my wrists."

When i was thinking that you have done all the best i can ever imagine, you said this.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, and the best is yet to come!"

But you never fulfilled your promise. That's what breaking me the most.

When i was confused about your words that sharing bed is a loving thing to do, you explained this and i had it all cleared.

"Why can't you share your bed? The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone. It's very charming. It's very sweet. It's what the whole world should do."

When i was wondering what Vitiligo is, you said this.

"I have a skin disorder that destroys the pigmentation of my skin, it's something that i cannot help, ok?"

When i was really wondering about why you created that kind of place, you said this.

"Because i wanted to have a place that i could create everything that i never had as a child. So, you see rides. You see animals. There's a movie theater."

When i was wondering what have you done to the world that made it appreciates you until now, you said this.

"I've helped many, many, many children, thousands of children, cancer kids, leukemia kids."

When i was wondering why you loved kids that much, you said this.

"When i see children, i see the face of God. That's why i love them so much. That's what i see. Children show me in their playful smiles the divine in everyone. This simple goodness shines straight from their hearts and only asks to be lived."

When i was wondering about your reaction about those untrue rumours media always spread about you, you said this.

"It's a complete lie, why do people buy these papers? It's not the truth, i'm here to say. You know, don't judge a person, do not pass judgement, unless you have talked to them one on one. I don't care what the story is, do not judge them because it is a lie."

I didn't ever realised and know what you felt when everyone was calling you the name you actually did not like.

"Yeah, Wacko Jacko, where did that come from? Some English tabloids. I have a heart and i have feelings. I feel that when you do that to me. It's not nice. Don't do it. I'm not a wacko."

When i was wondering about sarcastic critisms people gave you about your face, you said this.

"You know, let's put it this way, if all the people in Hollywood who have had plastic surgery, if they went on vacation, there wouldn't be a person left in town."

When i was wondering were you that fine to be who you were and to survive all bad images media and people had pasted on you, you said this.

"I'm happy to be alive, i'm happy to be who i am."

And when i was wondering what would you say to everyone to at least prove that you were not guilty, you finally said this.

"I just want to say to fans in every corner of the earth, every nationality, every race, every language: i love you from the bottom of my heart. I would love your good prayers, and your goodwill, and please be with me and believe in me because i am completely, completely innocent."

that is why i love you.