Things did happen.

Remember I'd told you that I'll try to resign to the fact that everything is wayy different now -oh well, you got what I mean, don't you letter with-three-straight-lines? To be honest, I can't. I simply can't. It is just wayy difficult for me to do so. Everything that I did reminds me of you. Sounds silly -I knw. But, it happens almost all the time. Pathetic, isn't it?

Despite of still being crossed at you, I threw my ego far away to say to the letter, I am terribly SORRY. Okay? It hurts me every minute, you know. I don't know what else to say. I don't know what is your desire. Well, you knew me pretty well, don't you? I just don't understand why can't you stand my tantrums while I am being the only one who is trying to...well.....to accept you as who you are, to stand with all your doings. Frankly speaking, I have never felt like this before. Never. You knw why, don't you?

Letter yuu-noo-huu, you taught me how to smile. You taught me how to live, how it feels like when you know someone is there beside to hold you. And, at the same time, you make me grieve. You taught me how to laugh but yet, you too, are the one who makes me cry. You knew my days wouldn't be complete without you, eh? You knew I love this song : 'you're my sunshine' because you -used to be- , my sunshine. It has been the hardest word ever to utter, doesn't it? Especially when it is being told publicly. Well, at least to me. But, I swear, this time round, I no longer want things to tangle in any way that makes it harder to untie it.

Lemme tell you something, there is one pain I often feel which you will never know because it is caused by the absence of you. Anyway, even though you were being as silent as a log, thank you for letting me know that I am still bugging your mind. *yuu-noo-huu, you knw that three-word means everything, right? so, I am whispering the three-word to you. do you hear it? it's from the bottom of my heart*


truly, sh.

p/s: getting involved in some things changes you into someone different.
pp/s: in fact, it makes you lose your 'absofu***ing me-time'

tweet-ing

tweet tweet tweet tweet, bulan ni genap lah 2 tahun aku mem-blog-kan diri. 2 tahun jugalah aku beremosi melayan catatan-catatan manusia sekeliling aku yang tak pernah kenal erti penat menulis.. Sungguh, aku hairan. Dorang ni tak reti nak berhenti menulis kejap ke? Yela, aku faham bila mood nak menulis tu ada memang berkobar-kobar on laptop, bukak blogger apa semua, sampaikan nak terberak pun tak sempat. Lipas melintas atas kaki pun nak cerita. Tapi sekarang teknologi dah canggih bukan? Blogging ke, facebook-ing ke, semua thru phone. Aku pernah tinggalkan dunia blogging ni untuk beberapa bulan sebab nak focus study. Konon la. Tapi bila lec sendiri suruh blogging and wajib ada blog sendiri, tiba-tiba perasaan nak blogging tu kembali menjelma. faham tak maksud aku? Sejak dari itu aku pun teruskan dengan aktiviti blogging tapi dah tak active sangat macam dulu. Kadang-kadang dalam seminggu satu entri je. Lama-lama, satu bulan satu entri. Haha. Ada orang berpendapat, takde life la tak blogging. Tapi, ada aku kisah?

Haha. Sekarang pun ikut mood je kot. Nak blogging, blogging. Taknak sudah, lupakan. Tengok blog budak-budak lain yang kecoh sana sini bercerita, macham budak baru nak up je blogging-blogging ni. Sampai le kat satu blog ni bercerita about someone's beau. Okay I know itu hak peribadi masing-masing like aku punya pasal la nak letak apa pun, belog aku kot. Tapi tak boleh fikir ke agak-agak kalau his current girlfriend terbaca your catatan ke luahan pekebenda lah, she would not be sitting on the home porch with a happy smile counting the stars in the sky right? Okay SORRY, but I just can't help it. Gila pulak line ni. Wargh ngantuk. Malasnya nak pegi kerjaa. -_-

When I Look At You

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everbody needs a song.
A beautiful melody,
When the night's so long.
Cause there is no guarantee,
That this life is easy.

And when my world is falling apart,
When there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore.
That's when I, I, I look at you.

When I look at you,
I see forgiveness,
I see the truth.
You love me for who I am,
Like the stars hold the moon,
Right there where they belong,
and I know I'm not alone.

Yeah when my world is falling apart,
When there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore,
That's when I, I, I look at you.

You appear just like a dream to me,
Just like kaleidoscope colours,
That cover me,
All I need,
Every breath that I breathe,
Don't you know you're beautiful

Yeah, yeah

When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore,
That's when I, I, I look at you.
I look at you, Yeah, Woah.

You appear just like a dream to me.

p/s: fell in love with this song, just like The Climb in HMTM, can't wait to watch The Last Song! :)

Melancholy sad, isn't it?

I know this isn't what I wanted, I never thought it'd come this far. Just thinkin' back to where we started and how we lost all that we are. We were young and times were easy but I could see it's not the same, I'm standing here but you don't see me. I'd give it all for that to change, and I don't want to lose her, don't wanna let her go. I'm standing out in the rain, need to know if it's over 'cause I will leave you alone. Flooded with all this pain, knowing that I'll never hold her, like I did before the storm. With every strike of lightning comes a memory that lasts, and not a word is left unspoken as the thunder starts to crash, maybe I should give up. Trying to keep the lights from going out and the clouds from ripping out my broken heart. They always say, a heart is not a home without the one who gets you through the storm. Love you. Missed you. =.=

ily friends, i really do

Okay, let's just face the truth. To all whom-it-may-concern people in the world, I am now apologizing so hard, pleading you to forgive me for my ancient mistakes. I guess this is the right thing to say to you.

If one day you feel like crying, call me. I don't promise that I'll make you laugh, but I can cry with you. If one day you want to run away, don't be afraid to call me. I don't promise to ask you to stop, but I can run with you. If one day you don't want to listen to anyone, call me. I promise to be there for you but also promise to remain quiet. But one day if you call and there is no one to answer, come fast to see me. Perhaps I need you. I want you guys to know that I haven't forgotten you and never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend. Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like. Because the one you like will leave you for the one they love. Just remember, whatever happens, I want you to know that I Love You.

xoxo,
SH.

Morning after dark

Kenapa mood nak menulis kejap ada kejap takde? Dah lama tak menulis. Huhu. Aku tak dapat melelapkan mata sepanjang malam. Dan bila pagi menjelang, hanya Tuhan yg tahu betapa mengantuknya mataku. Semalam aku menghantar satu text message kepadanya tetapi dia tidak membalas. Hampir sepanjang malam aku menunggu namun penantianku sia-sia. Tiba-tiba aku tersedar sebab aku tidak dapat tidur sepanjang malam adalah kerana aku terlalu merinduinya. Di segenap kotak fikiranku hanya ada dia sahaja. Baru kini aku mengetahui bagaimana rasanya terlalu merindukan seseorang hingga tidak boleh melakukan apa-apa kecuali bersengkang mata yg biasa dialami sesetengah orang. OMG, sumpah aku sangat rindukan dia. Apakah dia juga rindukan aku ek? Adakah dia tahu apa yg aku rasakan ketika ini? muahahahahahhah ayat!!! =.=

Btw, my whole family baru saja bertolak ke Cheras utk sesi pernikahan Zukie. Yg tak ikut Kak Mira, Hasya, my mom & me. Abah ajak ikut tapi rasa malas sangat nak pegi. Plan today nak keluar dengan Killer! Gosh, I missed her like crazy enough but I still tak crazy2 lagi! Hahaha. Beberapa hari kebelakangan ni aku rasa macam tak sedap hati la but tak tahu kenapa. Mungkin environment kot? Or kerana orang tertentu? Haihh entahlah! Erm okla, chiow dulu. Nak mandi siap2. tata.

Ku Ingin Kamu.

Demi semua yang aku jalani bersamamu
Ku ingin kau jadi milikku
Ku ingin kau disampingku

Tanpa dirimu ku hanya manusia tanpa cinta
Dan hanya dirimu yang bisa
Membawa surga dalam hatiku

Ku ingin engkau menjadi milikku
Aku akan mencintaimu
Menjagamu selama hidupku
Dan aku kan berjanji
Hanya kaulah yang kusayangi
Ku akan setia disini
Menemani...

Sentuhanmu
Bagaikan tangan sang dewi cinta
Yang berhiaskan bunga asmara
Dan membuatku tak kuasa

Ku ingin engkau menjadi milikku
Aku akan mencintaimu
Menjagamu selama hidupku
Dan aku kan berjanji
Hanya kaulah yang kusayangi
Ku akan setia disini
Menemani...

Di setiap arung gerak
Tersimpan di hati kecilku
Bahwa dirimu terindah untukku

Ku ingin engkau menjadi milikku
Aku akan mencintaimu
Menjagamu selama hidupku
Dan aku kan berjanji
Hanya kaulah yang kusayangi
Ku akan setia disini
Menemani...

Selama ku masih bisa bertahan
Selama ku masih bisa bernafas
Selama Tuhan masih mengizinkan
Ku ingin selalu menjagamu (4x)

Selama ku masih bisa bertahan
Selama ku masih bisa bernafas

Someone gave me this song last week, and lepas genap seminggu barulah kini terasa nak menghayatinya and..I kinda like it. I think it's more beautiful than Cinta Tak Bersyarat by Element & Merindukanmu by D'massive. Thanks to him.